Tom Foolery

Light Relief

2012-01-09T18:08:00.001Z

Now is it me or has this world become far too serious for its own good? Way too much doom and gloom in the news for my liking. So in the name of balance you understand, I thought it was time to post some light relief which may upset those of a delicate nature! Tough.

Ouch!

Handbrake turn ;-)

The cost of giving ....

2011-12-23T20:40:00.000Z

Hooray!. All the shops in the land will soon be closed for Christmas. Credit and debit transactions will cease to be made. The pound in the pocket will remain firmly secure like a Joey in his mothers' pouch. Bank statements I guess, will be scrutinised and digested in the New Year. Did I really spend that much on Christmas ?

Hmmm, of course it's a well known fact that the greatest gifts we can give to each other in life are free Either a smile, a wink, a nod, a pat on the back or a a few kind words, cost us nothing, only a wee bit of effort.

Have a lovely Christmas and a Happy New Year to one and all :-)))) .

The right to write

2011-12-15T16:15:00.000Z

Just imagine a world where you had no right to write. Sad to say, some do live in that world.

I'm a lover of all things creative (except blinkin'opera ! ) so I was very pleased to see that Antony Gormley has had a new sculpture called "Witness" (in the British Library) commissioned by English PEN to mark their 90th Anniversary. Cast in iron the work depicts an empty chair, a symbol used by English PEN.

At PEN’s annual event, ‘The Day of the Imprisoned Writer’, writers worldwide commemorate colleagues who have been persecuted for their work. Each year an empty chair represents a writer who could not be present because they have been imprisoned, detained, threatened or killed.

***

So, go forth and write. I intend to start the ball rolling by writing my Christmas cards. Small steps.... .

The Righteous Mother

2011-11-28T15:00:00.000Z

The Righteous Mother by Eden Phillipotts

"Wretch!" cried the mother to her infant son.
"You hateful little boy, what have you done?
Killed the white butterfly, of all dear things,
And then pulled off his tiny, fairy wings.
To butterflies this garden is their home-
Here do they dance and kiss the flowers and roam
In happiness and plenty, even as you.
God would be angry if He knew!"
And while she spoke these salutary words
Her hat displayed two withered hummimg- birds.

Hmmm, I rather like poetry as it tends to make you ponder and I wonder if a law was passed to ban righteous behaviour would mankind achieve so much more? Probably not!

A different perspective

2011-04-01T16:00:00.016+01:00

Hmmmm, doesn't time fly when you're having fun? Thought, I better put pen to paper (fingers and thumbs to keyboard) just in case you were thinking I'd been hijacked by little green Aliens or taken away (screamimg and shouting) in a white van to a remote and secure funny farm. I confess (like a good Catholic girl) that its been sometime since my last post. Three Hail Marys. I've been somewhat pre-occupied with dealing with the trials and tribulations that the modern world has thrown at me :( In future methinks I must remember to duck when the shit hits the fan or find myself a bloody good body double (a sexy brunette with long legs and a fantastic figure! Not me, alas! ) ;-)

Now talking of doubles (calm down we're not talking about alcohol intake 'ere, far too early in the day for any of that malarkey) The "double" (is my attempt) to link to a beautiful website created by a very talented photographer buddy. The ultimate aim of this wonderful website (methinks) is to make us look at life (the world) from a different perspective :) Which is a good thing.

Go take a look here http://www.planetaspie.co.uk/

Enjoy. Have a good weekend and may the sun shine on your wee patch of the world :-)

The Picture Book Story

2011-02-18T15:54:00.003Z

This is the hand that .....

2011-02-09T16:35:00.004Z

Most of you who still continue to read this wee little blog, may (or may not, depending on your grey matter!) remember the exploits of the graffiti gang. The naughty lads (or gals) have been a tad quiet of late. But this week the blank canvas has yet again been decorated with a few well chosen words (most starting with the letter F) but with no spelling mistakes! Now who said education wasn't working?

Ahhhh, this little fella has rather taken my fancy. aptly named the three eyed monster. Cute or what? He has a Rolf Harris quality about him methinks

Now I thought we would have a little word/picture game. So are you up for a challenge? No! What do you mean no? Shame on you! And there was me thinking you were writers! Tut! Tut!

So, can you finish* this sentence below?

"This is the hand that ..."

Melikey witty words btw!

* BTW The graffiti gangs penned words to "This is the hand that...." were VERY rude! It would make your hair curl, my hairstyle now resembles a 1980's perm! ;-)

The Lock In

2011-01-26T20:11:00.002Z

"Let me out! Let me out!" screamed Rapunzel as she woke abruptly from a nightmare. Just like magic, the little good fairies came to her rescue. They made an escape ladder out of the finest golden thread and Rapunzel was able to step down and walk away from the tower. With a jolly hop, skip and jump she danced merrily down the yellow brick road on a journey into the unknown. On route she was stopped by a wee little munchkin seating bolt upright on a toadstool. "Please stop Rapunzel! I have to give you this key" he said.

" This owner of this key has the power to change the lives (for the better) of all of the citizens that live in The Kingdom (Great Britain)". Rapunzel clasped the key close to her chest, waiting for the right moment to unlock its magic powers. One day out of the blue a hidden crumpled message from the "House of Power" hit her like a thunderbolt. Rapunzel just knew it was her golden opportunity to change the course of history and give the power back to the people. YIPPEE!

Fast Forward to mid-Spring 2011 to the clinking of keys .......

Rapunzel is now the Chief Locksmith in residence and all the naughty inmates have been locked away for good in their common rooms. Never again to be given the freedom, opportunity or the light of day to make anymore stupid political decisions/mistakes and grave errors.

And all the citizens of the The Kingdom sung in key a happy tune.

"Hip! Hip! Hooray!" ;-)

Got to go, for the men in the white van are coming to take me away. Ha! Ha! ;-)

Promise Yourself

2010-12-20T14:19:00.004Z

We'll soon be approaching the end of another year. A time to reflect, a time to stand still to study and learn from the footprints we've left in the past, a time to prepare for the new and unknown steps to be made into the future. With each new step we take doubt and negativity may take hold attempting to hinder our progress but try to move forward with a sense of optimism in your heart.

The Optimist Creed by Christian D Larsen

To be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind.
To talk health, happiness, and prosperity to every person you meet.
To make all your friends feel that there is something worthwhile in them.
To look at the sunny side of everything and make your optimism come true.
To think only of the best, to work only for the best and to expect only the best.
To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others as you are about your own.
To forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future.
To wear a cheerful expression at all times and give a smile to every living creature you meet.
To give so much time to improving yourself that you have no time to criticize others.
To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear, and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.
To think well of yourself and to proclaim this fact to the world, not in loud word, but in great deeds.
To live in the faith that the whole world is on your side, so long as you are true to the best that is in you.

A very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to one and all :-)

Try to tread gently on your journey. TFxx

The Perfect Present

2010-12-04T11:54:00.005Z

I think all this snow has frozen my brain for I've lost the ability to think straight (What's new?) Methinks I need to venture outside, mix with and embrace the human race! Hmmm. Sod that for a game of soldiers! Over the past few days I've been hibernating, eating chocolates, reading poetry and watching CRAP TV. I've taught myself how to create flowcharts in Excel. Melikey flowcharts, saves writing lots of technical BORING words. Oh, I've started building a sculpture out of coloured paper clips. Its growing on me! By summer I hope it will be the size of house and it will go on and win the 2011 Turner Prize! (So if you have any spare coloured paper clips lying around send them my way. Pigeon post will do just fine)

Oh, the best thing I've discovered is the present that beats all presents. No need to spend hours wrapping it up.No batteries required. Everyone you give it to will just love it ?

Do you want to know what it is?

NO!

Oh come on where's you sense of adventure?

Errr ok! (sigh)

That's better you don't want to be a part pooper now. Do you? For it's the season to be jolly! ;-)

Right 'ere it comes.

Drum roll !!! Can you feel the excitment?

It's a wee little gem of a poem

The Value of a Smile by Anonymous

A smile cost nothing, but gives much

It enriches those who receive

without making poorer those who give

It takes but a moment

but the memory of it sometimes lasts forever

None is rich or mighty that he can get along without it,
and none is so poor but that he can be made rich by it

A smile creates happiness in the home

fosters good will in business

and is the countersign of friendship

It brings rest to the weary

cheer to the discouraged

sunshine to the sad

and is nature's best antidote for trouble

Yet it cannot be bought, begged, borrowed or stolen,

for it is something that is of no value to anyone

until it is given away

Some people are too tired to give you a smile

Give them one of yours

as none needs a smile so much as he who has no more to give.

:-) TFx

I Spy with my dodgy left eye

2010-11-29T18:51:00.004Z

As a rule, I walk to work. CORRECTION. I run to work, 'cause I'm so reluctant to leave the comforts of my lovely warm bed that I'm always playing catch-up with time. Methinks the guy who invented the clock should of been shot at birth. I don't do mornings! Though, I do Sunday mornings with their long leisurely lie ins, sipping coffee and reading the Sunday papers. Bliss :-) Anyway, whilst doing my daily four minute mile dash, I've been observing out of the corner of my dodgy left eye a man. Over the last week or so this man has been loitering up the street where I live. I think he might be a spy! Trouble is he's a tad ugly and doesn't resemble James Bond in the slightest ;-) If truth be told he's a cross between Benny Hill and that Derek character that starred in Coronation Street (you know the one I mean, the guy who was married to Marvis).

The spy wears a cloth cap and a Columbo style beige mack! He's very strange indeed with not a trace of any facial expressions whatsoever. He just stands very still at the bus stop, looks me up and down and writes stuff down in a little book with his silver pen.

I'm so tempted to take a photo of him or grab his little book as I run past.

What can he be upto? I'm sure it's all very innocent. or is it?

The Dish of the Day is .....

2010-11-24T15:54:00.004Z

Now don't be thinking for one minute that I'm about to do a Nigella Lawson impersonation for you, if truth be told I'm more of your Fanny Craddock type of woman ;-)

This is the dish I use each morning for my lovely hot porridge! Yum! Yum! Not so yummy when it's lumpy though! YUK!

This little dish now sits on my desk it's called "A Round Tuit" it has changed my life!

A Round Tuit

This is an indispensable item. It will help you to become a much more efficient worker. For years we have heard people say "I'll do this when I get round tuit" Now that you have a round tuit of your very own many things that have been needed to be accomplished will be done.

Oh yes indeedy, I'll confess by habit I'm both idle and fickle and given the opportunity will avoid doing any BORING household chores until the last possible moment, hoping in vain that someone else will pick them up. But not anymore, starting this week I've scrawled on seven small pieces of red paper seven crappy chores that need to complete by yours truly by the end of the week. Each day I select one of the red folded pieces of paper from the Round Tuit dish and get on with that chore (happily). Then the best bit (a reward!) on green pieces of paper I've written seven activities I would love to do during the week :)

Today's crappy chore was to unblock the drain outside the kitchen window, with the aid of yellow marigolds, a peg for my nose and a swear box at the ready.

DONE. Boring (smelly) task completed. (Note: Do not drain grease and fat down sink TF!)

Today's fun activity (to write a blog post, only joking!) to book theatre tickets to see Camille O'Sullivan performing at The Royal Festival Hall on the 18th Dec (should be good, her repertoire includes songs by the great American poet/singer Tom Waits. YIPEE!

DONE: Fun activity booked. Roll on the 18th.

I hope everyone is alive and kicking and trust nobody has got too tied up with Christmas chores yet, but instead is spending time writing and doing fun things to store in your memory bank :)

Self-censorship

2010-11-15T16:52:00.000Z

Hmmm, by nature I'm a VERY open minded lady, but early this morning I deleted a blog post that I posted yesterday. It was one of my serious posts, that in hindsight (but not really sure) may of been a tad upsetting/controversial in its nature, as indicated by a nasty comment (lots of swearing ) left by an unknown anonymous reader via the comments box.

So I've had no choice today but to stop anonymous comments being permitted on this blog. I've set the comments box to access to users with Google accounts only.

Shame, as I'm a great believer in freedom of speech. But, hey-ho a lesson learnt, I guess but methinks I need to ponder more :O

Through the keyhole

2010-11-10T19:50:00.009Z

Who lives in a house like this?

Ladies and Gentlemen,

Please put your hands together and give a BIG round of applauds for the new British PM

(a clean sweep awaits)

Drum roll.......

"Gnome Hoover just knew being in charge of the country would be child's play!"

On day one, the deficit was all sucked-up and the British people came out onto the streets both laughing and cheering ...

"Hip! Hip! Hooray"

I had a dream and then I woke up.

Penny for the Guy, Mate?

2010-11-04T17:32:00.010Z

Right, I was going to post a wee little true monologue about my childhood memories involving Bonfire Night. It was going to be on a par with some of my previous childhood posts, say like digging to Australia with the aid of a spoon or the entrapment of innocent and defenceless bumble bees. But, I somewhat lost the thread to the story (like you do!) it was going on and on like Ronnie Corbett in his black mastermind chair.

In a nutshell, it was about the making of the annual Guy Fawkes effigy, that was burnt on the family bonfire after my brothers and I had finished roaming the streets pushing the effigy around in an old pushchair shouting "Penny for the Guy!" Right, little beggars we all were. One year, instead of making the usual effigy out of rolled up newspaper, stuffed with straw, with a papier-mache head, dressed in old jumble sale clothes, my older brother and I plotted a master plan to use my little brother as an authentic Guy Fawkes model! Suffice, to say my mum was none to pleased when she discovered that the Guy Fawkes effigy both moved and spoke! (Alas to say, the gaffer tape came unstuck) ;-) (only joking!)

So instead, I give your some serious thoughts about the subject of inner peace:-

Inner Peace

If you can start the day without caffeine,
If you can always be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains,
If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles,
If you can eat the same food every day and be grateful for it,
If you can understand when your loved ones are too busy to give you anytime,
If you can take criticism and blame without resentment ,
If you can conquer tension without medical help,
If you can relax without liquor,
If you can sleep without the aid of drugs,

...Then You Are Probably ..................... The Family Dog!

Woof! Woof!

Have a grand Bonfire weekend one and all :)

Naughty little surprises!

2010-10-29T16:41:00.006+01:00

Brewed Belgium beer beggars belief, blasts British bird bouncing back from Bruges.

Ahhh, sometimes in life you can just have too much of a good thing. It's always best to remember indulging in another "one for the road" WILL distort your vision, resulting in blurry buildings bouncing before your very eyes.

Overall, Bruges is a VERY refined and a somewhat religious place to visit with wonderful historic buildings and breath taking "chocolate box" vistas. But, (for there is always a BUT!) whilst pounding the cobbled streets you will ultimately come face to face with an array of little witty surprises. I shall share one with you ;-) Oh, for those with a delicate nature, look away now. (TF, no one with a delicate nature reads this blog anymore!). Thank God!
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The Belgium Tango? Quickstep. One... two... ;-)

Everybody, Somebody, Anybody and Nobody.

2010-10-18T18:59:00.004+01:00

Hereby follows a wee little moralistic story starring Everybody, Somebody, Anybody and Nobody. (and you can bet your bottom dollar that you've encountered one of these characters on many occasions throughout your lifetime). Once upon a time (in the world of make believe) there was an important job to be done, and Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it. Somebody got angry about that because it was Everybody's job. Everybody thought Somebody would do it, but Nobody realized that Everybody would not do it. It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done.

Oh, like every good story there's a sequel! For let it be known that if the somebody (over paid and over educated bankers/Govt ) who got this country in such a financial pickle had taken stock and time to listened to anybody with a ounce of commonsense instead of taking no notice of nobody then everybody would not be paying the price of the cock-up caused by that said somebody! And there ends the Party Political broadcast by the TF Party!

The real moral of the story is:-

Life isn't fair, it's all about the carving up of the cake and making sure you get yourself a slice. Crumbs! Right, this cynical cupcake is planning (and packing her bag) her escape to pastures new. (Bruges) Belgium buns 'ere I come!

I may return, but not necessarily in one piece! Ha! Ha! ;-)

The Riveting Rummage

2010-10-14T21:44:00.002+01:00

"Oh, what a little gem!" TF mutters to herself as she places a one pound coin on the glass counter in payment of the wee little gem. The old lady in the charity shop with bulging eyes smiles as she hands over the wrapped purchase and receipt. So what did TF get for her quid? A hand knitted purple tea cosy? A used pair of false teeth? A bundle of blunt knitting needles? No! Better than that, much better. It was a ruddy bargain in my book. Yes folks, it was a book (indirectly)! Not a Dickens first edition or a bumper bundle of Dandy comics. No! It was a quirky publication (and you know how I just love quirky stuff) that contains poems, short stories and BEST OF ALL pictures. The publication is called AMBIT a magazine that thinks it's a book. Have you 'eard of it then? No, are you sure? Its been around for 40+ years. Right, I'm now gonna possibly break copyright rules here but whilst reading the magazine I've now become acquainted with a poet called Donald Gardner. The poem below was cut and pasted from his website. Oh, before you read the poem, go check out the AMBIT website, you can even download a FREE, yes I said FREE backcopy of one of the quarterly magazines. If you feel really brave you can submit a poem or short story for publication! This bit is a quote from their website:

AMBIT – JUST WHAT THE DOCTOR ORDERED!

In 1959 a London Paediatrician, Dr Martin Bax, diagnosed Angst and Ennui as the prevailing mood. He prescribed AMBIT: poetry, fiction and art - sometimes shocking, sometimes erotic, sometimes comic, always compelling - plus a small dose of unstuffy poetry reviews.

Right now for that poem.

MORNING SHIFT

8 am Starbuck’s

Astor Place

the first crop

of office workers shows up

clipped speech at the counter.

as they order

their coffee and Danish

I’m up there with the best of them

but as I turn I glimpse

the street people

as they slide from the benches

where they’ve rested since dawn

one after another

a larval stir

of old stiff overcoats

shuffling outside

at the signal of the first comers

through the swing doors

the whole event

a conversation-stopper

so played out

in absolute silence

but taking

less than a minute

leaving us to enjoy

the heady tang of Jamaican

Blue Mountain coffee

more or less undisturbed

by Donald Gardner

Ahh, sometimes it pays to rummage methinks :)

Better late than never!

2010-10-09T18:56:00.006+01:00

Ladies and Gentlemen, in celebration of the recent "Day of Poetry" I give you a unique opportunity to witness the unveiling of a penned poem by yours truly! Groan! Groan! Spare us the agony TF! Nope, I can't do that! TF, your readers will be seeing RED. Ahhh, but RED is good, for it stimulates the mind, so they say. But, who are they? I'll be buggered if I know ;-)

Right, here we go then...

Agony Away
Anticipating arousing action
fresh faced fanatical Fulham football fan
takes train towards turnstile

goalless game grim!

suddenly stadium sings
shouting starts
clapping cheering chanting
exploding echoing excitement escalates

paranoid pitch
professional passing plunder
cultivating commotion cartwheeling cut-up
cracks competitors cartilage

shifty shirty star striker sent-off
check-out checkmate!

backwash blunder
boisterous bemoaning booing begins

fresh faced football fan fuming from foul fiasco
torn apart team takes traumatic tumble

Wycombe Wanderers whitewash winners!

Moral of the post:- TF can't write poetry to save her life :0

Have a great weekend (week) one and all and remember we can't all be winners for its the taking part that counts. TF,stop talking twaddle!

Fly me to the moon....................

2010-10-04T20:39:00.010+01:00

Ho! Ho! Bloody Ho!

Is it Christmas yet? TF! Wash your mouth out with soap and water I can't believe you utter that fatal word C.H.R.I.S.T.M.A.S. Shame on you woman ! Ho! Ho! Ho! Methinks I'm going a tad mad! Now doesn't time fly when you're having fun (but drags when you're not). Don't you agree? I've just finished writing some technical report on the most boring subject known to mankind (YAWN! YAWN!). I'll spare you the details, suffice to say its been written, checked (double checked) and emailed (minus the jokes) to the Big Chief for his rubber stamping. I've reached the conclusion that I've had enough of working for a living, I want to be a well kept and pampered woman who is fed grapes all day , spends her time browsing in bookshops, eating fattening cakes and sipping liquor induced hot chocolate. Ahhh, meanwhile back in the real world . Sigh! But every cloud has a silver lining as I'm escaping upto London on Friday taking 80+ little ones on a school trip. Happy Days :)

So what news to tell? Well let me see, I hurt my right shoulder badly, doing Pilates the pain got worse on Friday, hit my ruddy funny bone on a door. I can tell you it wasn't funny it bought tears to my eyes. I'm attempting very badly to read two books at the same time (the wonders of bifocals!) Peony in Love by Lisa See and Postcards by Annie Prolux. Both are a bit too HEAVY for my liking! Sometimes heavy is just well too heavy.

Oh, good news a new music venue has opened in a nearby village. I used my charm (I do have some) and managed to blag us onto their guest list. A very good night was had by all, yes indeedy. Sucker for live music me, for music be the food of life! Along with a vino or two. Alas, three vino's will not do anymore, makes TF very tipsy!

The new renewed passport has finally plopped onto the doormat! A holiday needs to be booked posthaste methinks. TF why don't you book it right now? For the world is your oyster! ;-) Right as you were, I'm off to explore the delights of expedia.com.

A budget break methinks! "For money's too tight to mention...."

Time for a wee bit of perspective!

2010-09-27T16:35:00.007+01:00

Being somewhat of a creative crackpot, wherever possible I tend to seek out the company (or observe) those who have a creative mind and/or a "fly-by-the-seats-of-your-pants" trait about them. I so love it when similar minds collide and a union (however short lived) is formed, to me it represents the full-stop at the end of a sentence.

Now, you'll no doubt agree that life can be full of far too many time consuming mundane chores (like fecking work, housework, ironing blah, blah) and our creative time/thoughts becomes squeezed like an apple being pressed into pulp. Aaahh, but remember from apple pulp the clear juice of cider will flow! Yes indeedy ;-)

So last week like a child hooked on hopscoth, I took a hop, skip and jump to a local gallery to view an photographic exhibition by Lord Snowdon.(I wish I had the words to describe how awe inspiring the exhibition made me feel ( I even forked out over £12 quid and purchased the book "In Camera Snowdon" worth every penny) but descriptive words are not really my strong point). The photographs by Snowdon were taken from the inner sanctum of artist's studios, the very private, sometimes secret rooms or spaces where alchemy of creation takes place. Through the images you got a glimpse of not only of the private places but also the personalities and characters almost as if he opens a door into the inner psyche of his subjects. The subjects included the likes of Bacon, Hockney, Frink, Hepworth, Kapoor amongst many more. Through the exhibition I've now been introduce to the many new artists including Bridget Riley , the Queen of Op-Art!

No painter, dead or alive, has ever made us more aware of our eyes than Bridget Riley.’
Robert Melville, 1971

Is it me or is that above image moving ?

A touch of toilet tweeting!

2010-09-17T16:44:00.011+01:00

Images from the back of a door in a public loo. The words rather amused me, full of great wit and humour, deep thoughts and chocolate!

Finding balance

2010-09-10T16:16:00.012+01:00

Life has been a wee bit of a see-saw ride this last week or so, full of many ups and downs. In a strange way, my mind has been flashing back to the carefree days of my early childhood. My friend and I used to play with a boy we nicknamed "Fatty Arbuckle". He would often tease us and would lead us into a forced sense of security.My dad built a wooden seesaw, made out of an old plank that was painted red, it was sited in a sand-based pen, shared by the pet tortoise. We two girls eagerly jumped onto one end of the seesaw with "FA" plumped on the other end, his and our weigh were evenly balanced. We spent hours going up and down, with us girls giggling each time we reached the top, our arms reaching upwards in readiness to catch a falling star. Then suddenly out of nowhere like a bolt of lighting, "FA" would have his revenge to our name-calling and spiteful girlish ways, by leaving us suspended in the air for what seemed like hours. His feet were firmly glued to the ground, only agreeing to release us from our dizzy heights on the promise that we would hand over our sweets to him. (we in turn gained our revenge at a later stage by giving him sweets from the joke shop filled with pepper!) :O Naughty!

The moral of the story:

Although life is full of "ups and downs" it pays to pursue a sense of (inner) balance.

This weekend, I'll find time to sit down and count my blessings and share a thought for those who lost their lives in 9/11 and those who continue to do so because of that fatal day. On a real personal note, my thoughts and prayers will be with a friend, her brother lost his brave battle with lung cancer last weekend. Thankfully, he held out long enough to see and hold in his arms his newly born grandchild.The world has lost one of the good guys. God Bless you DL.
Have a great weekend, one and all. Treasure those precious moments in life.

A HARE- raising discovery!

2010-08-31T19:56:00.010+01:00

I'm hopping mad! After some forty (faulty) odd years I've just discovered I'm a ruddy rabbit, a bit of a "Watership Down" moment, I can tell you. I'm feeling like an old and worn out Bunny girl of the 21st Century ;-) Indirectly, I made this discovery whilst ploughing through the beautifully crafted book "Snow Flower and the Secret Fan" by Lisa See (reading as part of my globetrotter greedy reader adventure). Now, we can all thank our lucky stars that we weren't Chinese girls living in the 19th century, for not only was your "gob" bound you also had to endure the awful tradition of foot binding. It seems a woman's marriage eligibility was judged by the size and shape of her feet, the smaller the better. Foot binding - more like a touch of Chinese torture! Oouch! I can now see why the woman invented a secret woman's writing language called "nu shu" aka "flippin' 'eck!" ;-)

Hmmm, I'm digressing - rabbit... rabbit. So, the two main characters in the book are horses. Neigh lad, not in the literal sense, you understand (keep up!) they're actually Chinese woman who become laotong (blood brothers) at the age of seven. (I haven't finished the book yet, I've a notion that it may result in a sad ending - time will tell) Anyway they become laotong because their Chinese astrology matches them to a tee.(or is it tea!) Sod it who gives a monkey? Anyway, with the words of "curiosity kills the cat" ringing in my ears, I indulged in a touch of web browsing on the subject of Chinese astrology. Apparently, I was born and shall die under the animal sign of a rabbit.

Right, I'm gonna hop off now in search of a carrot! But, before I go, if you're a tad interested in seeing what animal you are, go check out this link. Oh, a word of warning, just like me you may discover character straits that may alarm you, like:- cunning, snobbish, possessive, fussy, obsessive. Noooo! This cannot be!

(I'll be around soon to visit blogs (and comment) been a tad manic in TF towers of late)

Who are we

2010-08-21T20:03:00.002+01:00

if not a combination of
experiences, information,
books we have read,
things imagined?
Each life is
an encyclopedia, a library
an inventory of objects,
a series of styles, and
everything
can be constantly
reshuffled and reordered
in every
conceivable
way

.
quote by Italo Calvino

I rather like those words (taken from the book I've just finished reading) :-)

Oh, the joy of a four o'clock fantasy!

2010-08-18T16:00:00.007+01:00

Apples, apples everywhere and not a ruddy moment to spare! The apple trees in the back garden are laden with cooking apples. They've been jumping up and down like dissident hooligans these past few days, screaming at me, "Pick me! Pick me!" So after the rainy downpour, I skipped outside with my wicket baskets swinging happily by my side, like Little Red Riding Hood, on a mission to pick the little blighters. Ahhh, six baskets have been filled to the brim. But, I'll have my revenge! For soon they'll be peeled, sliced, diced, covered in shortcrust pastry and lashings of hot custard. Yum! Yum!

But, in the meantime, purely to regain my strength (you understand) from the tedious task of apple picking, I'm gonna indulge in a four o'clock fantasy. Care to join me?

Please note:
The fantasy has been moved to the comments box, so not to offend.

Roll up! Roll up! Read all about it!

2010-08-08T17:02:00.008+01:00

for beyond the door, you might just spot Elvis

"Long live The King!"

Above images taken by yours truly from the talking walls of South Devon. Street art never fails to warm the cockles of my 'eart, I'm VERY easily pleased! ;-)

A (semi) serious crime!

2010-07-27T14:59:00.008+01:00

I've got a VERY bad case of writer's (blog) block, which in itself is rather funny, 'cause in a serious way I don't really do writing! (478 posts!) Now, don't get me wrong, in general I do so enjoy talking, reading and communicating. This wee little blog was originally given the light of day for me to scribble down my words and thoughts, some, I hope have entertained (gulp!) with my silly "tom foolery" ways/banter. However, like the onset of a double chin, failing eye sight and a flabby mid rift, I've lost my ability to write! But, I now know the reason behind this predicament, a crime has been committed! Someone of a sinister nature has stolen my sense of humour. No! don't laugh, TF can't write without her sense of humour.

At first I was convinced it got thrown away with the dirty bath water. But the more I think about it, I'm sure a little Bogeyman in the early hours of the morning, trundled through the misty woods, climbed a rickety step ladder, fumbled about in his toolkit, before drilling a hole in my 'ead. With a syringe held firmly in his steady puppet like hand, he sucked up into a blue glass bottle my sense of humour. Popped on a cork, before throwing it over the bank into the fast flowing murky waters of the stream that runs behind my house. So when you're out walking, if you should happen to come across a bobbling blue bottle heading down stream, please grab a stick or a branch and stop it in mid-flow. Turn it around and push it back my way. Now, don't you be tempted to take a sip of the contents! Just remember what happened to Alice! ;-)

Right, I'm off to the funny farm! ( I lie, I'm starting to pack (very slowly) for a trip down to the West Country. The reading matter, mountain bikes and walking boots are packed. Yippee! Next job, ironing clothes! Bugger, I knew we should of gone for the nudist holiday option ;-) Would you Adam and Eve it? But, on a positive note, the cottage (a converted cow shed, with a raised platform that holds the kitchen area! ) I'm told is within walking distance of two pubs! Quick march ;-)

Oh, a little poem

Lost Contact

O the vexation
of dropping
a contact lens!

The contact lens
that would help you find
the contact lens
you are looking for
is
the contact lens
you are looking for!

by William Cole

Aye! Aey! ;-) TFx

The Globetrotter Greedy Reader!

2010-07-05T19:40:00.010+01:00

Lately, I've been chomping may way through the reading of books like a greedy hormonal woman on a mission to satisfy her sweet craving through the stuffing of mouthwatering chocolates into her wide and open goldfish like gob. Oh, the sweetness, the flavours, the textures, so smooth, so rich. I've gone international with my reading material! Oh la la ...

My ultimate aim is to read (only second hand or library books, 'cause I'm travelling on a light (air less) budget!) books written by foreign writers or stories/plots that are based in countries outside the UK. Don't laugh but I've even bought myself a GIGANTIC map of the world, which has been blue-tacked to the hallway wall. (I never realised how ruddy big Greenland is, about the same size as USA, give or take an inch or two with a population of approx 57,000!

So, my tartan Mary Poppins bag has been packed with an assortment of novels, autobiographies and biographies. So far I've been bumming around in Northern Europe, mainly France and Italy. But last night I started my whistle stop tour to Singapore, reading some short stories by Suchen Christine Lim - The Lies that Build a Marriage (the stories focus on the unsung, unsaid and uncelebrated in Signapore. Simply structured but the content is to be read with an open-mind for the words within may or may not question your beliefs and get you thinking. Not a bad thing in my book, for a book (like a mind) should be open not closed. I'll make a return journey back to Singapore to read more of Suchen Christine Lim books.

Then I'm hot footing it over to Romania to read The Land of Green Plums by Herta Muller.

before venturing closer to home with Mother Ireland by Edna O'Brien and Father and I (a memoir by Carlo Gebler) a biography of the author Ernest Gebler, ex-husband of Edna O'Brien. I'm not sure which order to read the last two in. I shall ponder the thought.

I'll send you postcards (I wonder, do people still send postcards?) from time to time on my book world tour. (all of course from the comfort of my day bed where I shall be sipping green tea and scoffing homemade cakes! (Not made by me, I hasten to add, baking is not my strong point). Bullshit is more my line of business ;-)

Oh, any foreign books/writers recommendations (especially if they're quirky/different or taxing to the old brain box) would be welcome by this international jet setter!;-)

It's in the can !

2010-06-18T10:20:00.006+01:00

It's with an element of sadness and regret that you need to be informed that TF did knock on that gate door * at the crack of dawn this Friday morning ! TF was caught on CCTV, kicking and screaming to the bitter end. (Alas, it seems all to no avail). The dodgy dog food factory owner, Mr Colin Carver, grabbed her firmly by the arms, minced her up, grounded her down, before finally processing her body into a tin of "Pedigree Chum". Her destiny along with her lips have now been sealed, canned and labelled. She lies forlorn and forgotten like a spinster on a dusty shelf awaiting selection and delivery to the local pet shop. Her ultimate fate, to be scoffed up by man's best friend, Fido the dog! ;-)

"It's not funny! Let me out you bastard!"

TF will now be away from her computer and desk for the next two weeks or so, exposing her knobbly knees and lily while legs to the sheer delight of the centre court crowd at Wimbledon. If she wins Wimbledon ('cause don't let it be said that miracles don't happen!), she'll be absent for sometime practising in eagerness for the start of the hard court season! ;-) TF you cannot be serious! Nope,that's 'cause I'm attempting to use black humour and irony! You're barking mad more like. Huh? Very BLOODY funny. Woof! Woof!

*see previous post for the full story.

What's up Doc?

2010-06-14T20:04:00.004+01:00

Isn't that garage door just so cool and GREAT? Right, now I've got your attention, I need you to put your thinking caps on and come up with the answer to something that has been puzzling me for sometime.

What happens here on a Friday? (Is the Catholic church involved?)

A sight for sore eyes

2010-06-08T21:23:00.005+01:00

Over the last few months or so, my eyesight has gone a tad "square shaped" Too much computer work methinks. So a trip to the friendly opticians was called for. I waited patiently in the reception area, squinting at the notices and adverts pinned on the wall. Suddenly, I was summoned into a dark room by a young girl told to sit down and stick my chin into a uncomfortable metal clamp . Then a puff of cold air was blown in each eye by a funny looking machine with a shining bright distant light. A very strange sensation indeed! Things could only get better methinks. Wrong! Out the corner of my "blown away" eye I spotted a mean spirited woman with a black clip board. The OPTICIAN! She was a VERY serious lady, not playing ball with any of my wisecracks or tom foolery. Her mission was to humiliate me into reading the eye test board, line by line. I was getting hotter and flustered by the minute, as each line became more difficult to read. Different strength lens were placed over my right eye to counter balance my 'lazy' left eye. After 15 minutes or so of torture, she informed me that my left eye was practically useless caused by a part of my brain not developing properly at birth. Basically I'm MAD! ;-) Tell me something I don't know I muttered. She then went on to say that if I lost my right eye (say in a accident) I would be registered semi-blind. Holy Shit! That took the wind out of my sails I can tell you.

This news got me thinking, could I live without my sight? No more photography, art, reading or blogging. Then my brain went into rewind mode, my whole life flashed before my very eyes. Some aspects not a great sight, I hasten to add - permed hair, red hot pants. Then I started to remember some of the good times I've had that involved seeing all the beauty that life has to offer, say like a giant kaleidoscope of colour. I've got this mad theory (one of many) that if you think about all your happy and wonderful memories of your life a colour will feature in that memory.eg. an awesome orange night sky viewed out of the airplane window after flying back from a fantastic holiday in Amsterdam. A field of wild red poppies sited on a long walk with a friend. A shiny purple sequin dress (worn by a drunk guy!) standing in front of me in a festival tent, he turned, grabbed my hand and we danced to the sound of The Stranglers.

Funny but I can't for the life of me remember what the guy looked like. I may (or may of not) been a tad tipsy at the time ;-)

Seeing Red

2010-06-01T17:11:00.001+01:00

I'm feeling a bit like a raging mad bull today, not helped by terrible backache! (caused during a pilates session, trying to keep fit :0) So red spells danger (apparently!) Oh, a boring little fact for you: Once upon a time, green was chosen as the standard colour for the first post box in early Victorian times. Unfortunately, people kept bumping into them so they were all repainted in bright red enamel. WOW!

Oh, just in case you're interested the above image was taken by TF the other day.The watermark was made on the floor by the dripping watering can used by a chap as he was watering the hanging baskets. The dried up image disappeared once the sun started to shine. Temporary pavement art? Gone but not forgotten.

I'm now going to do a touch of DIY acupuncture, lay down on a bed of nails and contemplate the meaning of life. I maybe sometime ;-) OUCH! That bloody hurt!

Will you avoid "The Void" ?

2010-05-25T19:00:00.000+01:00

Right, this blog post may go a tad pear-shaped. Its success really depends on your willingness to keep an open-mind. So here's hoping you're up for this wee challenge! ;-)

Welcome into the mindset of a conceptual artist*

All you have to do is click on all blue images that you see. Cheers! ;-)

*(the idea of concept being the most important aspect of the work. All planning and decisions are made beforehand and the execution is a perfunctory affair. The idea becomes the machine that makes the art).

Oh! Thank God. It's Friday....

2010-05-20T21:08:00.010+01:00

Hmmm, but it's only Thursday TF! Shit, let's pretend it's Friday and time for glass of wine, takeaway, box of chocolates....) Tempted? I can't think of anything to write (twattle on) about today (not a problem 'cause I'm not a writer). So thought I'll share a wee image with you instead. I'm working on a photographic project celebrating contemporary undiscovered/unacknowledged art found naturally in the urban environment! What? I know, boring! Sigh...

Image taken a few days ago whilst I was running to catch the train. The train was late :) Every cloud has a silver lining ;-)

OMG! It's our future in a song!

2010-05-14T15:56:00.009+01:00

Time for a wee sing song. Go on let it rip! Exercise those vocal chords. But don't be hitting any bum notes now! ;-)

'My Favorite Things'

Botox and nose drops and needles for knitting,
Walkers and handrails and new dental fittings,
Bundles of magazines tied up in string,
These are a few of my favorite things.

Cadillacs and cataracts, hearing aids and glasses,
Polident and Fixodent and false teeth in glasses,
Pacemakers, golf carts and porches with swings,
These are a few of my favorite things.

When the pipes leak, When the bones creak,

When the knees go bad,
I simply remember my favorite things,
And then I don't feel so bad.

Hot tea and crumpets and corn pads for bunions,

No spicy hot food or food cooked with onions,
Bathrobes and heating pads and hot meals they bring,
These are a few of my favorite things.

Back pain, confused brains and no need for sinnin',

Thin bones and fractures and hair that is thinnin',
And we won't mention our short shrunken frames,
When we remember our favorite things.

When the joints ache,

When the hips break,
When the eyes grow dim,
Then I remember the great life I've had,

And then I don't feel so bad.

Blinkin' 'eck, bet you can't wait ?

Have a great weekend one and all. Be reckless and try and get upto no good! Safe and sensible is BORING! So what ya gonna lose? Your virginity? Far too late for that! ;-)

Fill me up! Fill me up! Buttercup Baby!

2010-05-09T12:30:00.001+01:00

I'm not going to talk about The Election! Yep! I'm not going to talk about the ruddy election! Why not TF? Because words fail me.So instead I'm going to talk about the stimulating subject of HOLES! Now cast your mind back to our "winter of discontent" when the adverse icy weather conditions eroded the road surfaces creating the sudden appearance of holes. Around on the streets where I live these holes are many and some are VERY deep indeed! BUT suddenly this Friday, there seems to be an element of progress in this (w)hole situation! ;-) For someone or some BODY has started to paint large white circles around these offending holes. Progress?

Now, methinks this hole situation indirectly mirrors the state of the UK. Let's just hope that this phantom circle painter forms a firm coalition with a yet to be confirmed hole filler. And like the UK's deficit, these black holes get filled with something resembling concrete and not a bucket load of bullshit!

For alas, bullshit attracts flies and flies make maggots ;-) Wriggle, wriggle :O

TF! You do talk a load of bullshit at times! I know, sad but true ;-)

A Layered Life!

2010-05-03T21:30:00.003+01:00

I've always been of the opinion that human beings are rather like Knickerbocker glories, made up of many layers. Let's face it who wants to be a soft souffle or a sticky stodgy pudding? Not me!

This afternoon, I've been reading poetry by Spike Millagan and The Third Man by Grahame Greene.I wonderful combination methinks. So in the style of Spike, (some hope 'ere!) I give you an original work by TF (image of my hand and (silly) words (groan!) called Solace Scrub ;-)

Solace Scrub

Boiled blood-red beetroot bleeds
staining soft sensitive skin

rigorously rubbed

red raw
hidden hypersensitive hands hurt

Cherry anyone? No? "Cherrio TF"!!! ;-)

The Vocabularian Vicambulist

2010-04-29T21:20:00.012+01:00

BIG words TF* ! I know, I know, but isn't VICAMBULIST a wonderful word? You what!!? What does it mean? Let me tell you, by nature I'm a VERY BIG vicambulist (someone who likes to walk the streets of a city) Not touting for business, I hasten to add, that would not do. No indeed not! ;-) I went city (town) wandering the other day. like you do. I do believe sometimes it pays not to take notice of words like these.

Otherwise you might just miss words like these found down that alleyway.

The paint was still wet on these words but out of the corner of my eye I spied the culprit, a naughty political activist running from the scene after doing a spot of ROORBACK (a flash report that is circulated for political purposes) graffiti on the collective political policies. Ahhh, only one week to go before X marks the spot. Your country is counting on you, 'cause further failure of the UK won't do!

Right time to retire to my LECTORY (a place for reading) Oh, talking of reading (a plug) I can recommend The Broken Circle by Ms Shirley Wells . Go on cheer her up (Burnley FC were relegated!) and go buy the book. A good read indeed! It would be a crime not to buy it!

Oh, just in case you're interested a vocabularian is one who pays too much attention to words.

* BIG words from the pages of the Daily Express

It Pays to Pray!

2010-04-22T16:05:00.005+01:00

Don't panic! I'm not gonna give you a religious sermon 'ere. But, I have to confess that TF has a real passion and love of sculpture. BORING! Bear with me this bit of sculpture is all about CHOCOLATE! (well indirectly it is!).

Last Saturday after a good breakfast we drove to the depths of West Sussex to visit a wonderful sculpture park. One quirky interactive sculpture amused my inner child. Oh, what fun we had! Basically, up against a wall in the depths of the woods was sited some full sized vending machines . You popped your money in the slot, selected a random four digit number and in return you received (not a bar of chocolate!) but a LED flashing prayer full of wonderful wisdom. When it finished out popped your 20p piece, so you could click some more numbers and start all over again. Anyway, it kept me occupied for a few minutes. So, if this kind of thing floats your boat, click HERE for further info and lovely pictures. Rather quirky methinks.

Oh, look an image of some MAD woman with a camera, taking an image of some MAD woman with a camera! Who can that be?

Mirror, Mirror, on the wall ;-)

Off the Wall

2010-04-16T10:10:00.006+01:00

Now, would you Adam 'n' Eve it? Located the passport only to find out no planes are permitted to take off in the UK air space! Just my ruddy luck. My face went ashen with the shock, my temper erupted but I'll remain ice cool ;-) It's rather strange without the sight of planes in the sky methinks. The Great Political Debate. Hmmm, stimulating(?) TV last night. Interesting times ahead methinks. Anyway enough of this political talk.

Right, for those of your lovely bods (odd bods ;-) who have stuck with this blog (which has been up and down like the a yo-yo on speed!) I take my hat off to you :-) Well I would but I'm painting the ceiling (coffee and kit kat break!). Hat needed to prevent white paint from splatting on my old 'ead. It has been known that at times TF is a bit off the wall with her views and posts, BUT "it's just my imagination running away with me.."

So yes folks, in recognition of your stick ability please accept this "Off the Wall" award. (Images taken this week from the wall of a disused building on the outskirts of town).

OFF THE WALL AWARD

Now if I was a writer, me reckons you could base a story on this little girl. Who is she? What are her dreams?

Hmmm, food for thought. It's good to have a break methinks :-) Chocolate anyone?

Power to the People!

2010-04-13T16:00:00.008+01:00

May Day! May Day!

Anyone fancy a NEW job? (oh, it's unpaid btw!) ! But don't let that put you off! You've a once in a lifetime opportunity to sort out the state of this country. Yep! For the NEW Tory manifesto is encouraging us all to take part in taking local responsibility. Yes folks we're all going to sort out the f*cking mess created in this country by the past decades of the best (Tory/Labour) brains that ever walked this land. So get off your butt, roll up your sleeves and get stuck in.

First, education, we're going to have the easy task of setting up new academy schools. That will be sooooo simple to achieve! Next, time to pound the beat and sort out law and order. Then we're gonna hit on the the local council - no more council tax rises! Hmmm, not sure how we're gonna pay for the new schools though. But we're not gonna worry about the LITTLE financial deficit now are we?

Hey, is that a flying pig in search of a money tree or a sacked MP on his merry way? Oh credit where credit is due, this is one of their better ideas - the right to buy your own local pub! Ahhh, time to indulge in a lock-in ;-) Cheers :-)

TF is away - contemplating the state of the economy and searching for her passport to activate her escape from the UK. (This post is bought to you by the Raving Lunatic Party!)

Where do rainbows go?

2010-04-04T21:04:00.004+01:00

To discover the answer

CLICK ON THE PIC!

(but don't bother if you're easily bored by photography!
YAWN! YAWN! BORING!) ;-)

All blogged out!

2010-03-25T21:37:00.005Z

Sorry Guys,

After some 460 odd posts I've NOW truly run out of things to talk about and silly thoughts/views to entertain you with. My words no longer seem to flow naturally and spontaneously anymore, for this reason I'm going to call it a day on this blog and instead concentrate on my photo blogs. I'll try and pop by from time to time to visit your blogs and say hello and see that you're behaving yourselves ;-)

Many many thanks for reading and commenting on this blog, its been such tremendous fun :-)))

Have we got it licked?

2010-03-18T15:41:00.013Z

The Hardest Thing in the World

is stand in the hot sun

at the end of a long queue for ice creams

watching all the people who've just bought theirs

coming away from the queue

giving their ice creams their very first lick
.

by Michael Rosen
.
.
.

A Poem
.

A poem moves down the page
.
.
.
.
.

faster than a novel
.

by Richard Meltzer
.
.

Questions
Do trains get tired of running

And woodworms tired of holes

Do tunnels tire of darkness

And stones of being old?
.

Do shadows tire of sunshine

And puddles tire of rain?

And footballs tire of kicking

Does Peter tire of Jane?
.

Does water tire of spilling

And fires of being too hot

And smells get tired of smelling

And chickenpox-of spots?
.

I do not know the answers

I'll ask them all one day...

But I get tired of reading

And I've done enough today.
.

by Peter Dixon
.

So, what makes you tired ?
.

Truth, Peace and Enlightenment

2010-03-11T20:23:00.002Z

"Speak few words, but say them with quietude and sincerity and they will be long lasting"

LAO TZU (6th Century BC) China

I'm trying to educate my mind and spirit to the teaching and practices of Buddhist. Though I'm not so sure that I'm willing to shave my 'ead or start wearing orange robes. BUT I'm liking the philosophy behind the teaching a quest in finding inner peace. I suspect I maybe sometime. So let me leave you with this little gem.

"Three things in human life are important. The first is to be kind. the second is to be kind.

And the third is to be kind"

PS. I'm still reading your blogs, please accept my apologises but I'm struggling to comment at the moment. Lost for (witty) words :-) TFx

We're all going on a summer holiday.....

2010-02-24T21:00:00.004Z

"We're all going on a summer holiday
no more working for a week or two
fun and laughter on our summer holiday
no more worries for me and you for a week or two

We're going where the sun shines brightly
we're going where the sea is blue
we've all seen it in the movies
now let's see if it's true

Everybody has a summer holiday
doing things they always wanted to
so we're going on a summer holiday
to make our dreams come true for me and you"

"We're all going on a summer holiday"

Don't panic! Sir Cliff is not coming with us. No offence Cliff, but my eardrums won't cope! ;-). So what's happened to ruddy Spring? Rather wet, snowy and chilly now methinks! I for one urgently need a touch of sunshine on my back. To run (naked - only joking!) bare foot across golden sands and collect seashells on the seashore. Eat barbecue prawns and scoff lashings of strawberry syrup coated ice cream and chocolate flakes. I hanker to watch and hear the ebb and flow of the blue ocean. To lay in a hammock, a secret sanctuary, to read and think deep reflective thoughts. To busk in the joy of peace and quiet.

So today I've booked (not with British Airways!) a one-way ticket to the land of "milk and honey" the place where money grows on trees. Oh, the old chill-out tent with it's bulls eye red dot is coming along on the journey. Rucksack packed, to included a floppy straw hat and a expensive tube of Factor 50 suncream in readiness to be slapped on my lilly white body. I shall lie down like a beach bum under a big colourful umbrella, sipping cool fruity cocktails and munching on coconuts (not the shells!) and sucking water melons. Oh, and handfuls of cold refrigerated chocolates ....

Please come along if you like, BUT be warned there won't be any tinternet, emails or texting allowed - cause it's gonna be a gadget free zone! (Refrigerator allowed though) Oh, you can bring some paper/paints and pens, for writing and drawing, if you like. Oh, and a bucket and spade, for the sandcastle building competition! And late into the evening we shall sing merry songs around the camp fire. Laugh and dance late into the night. Then we'll sit down (holding our hangover hurting 'ead in our hands, for those who don't drink - you can sit and gloat!) and watch the sunrise, celebrating the splendid dawning of another carefree day.......

Meanwhile back in the real world. Ahhh, it's good to dream methinks ;-)

The best is yet to come.

2010-02-20T15:15:00.003Z

Hmmm, methinks spring is in the air. Little birds are twittering. Spring bulbs are raising their heads above ground. Something rather nice about Spring makes you want to pack away the winter clobber and get out your broom (fly high in the sky!) to do a bit of vigorous sweeping. Spring should be a time to clean out the cobwebs in your life and set your spirit free. I came across these words yesterday. I kind of like them, especially No 10 :-) Oh! and No 18 might be of interest to some of you.

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

4. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

5. Pay off your credit cards every month.

6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.

8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.

12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.

16. Life is too short for long pity parties. Get busy living, or get busy dying.

17. You can get through anything if you stay put in today.

18. A writer writes. If you want to be a writer, write.

19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.

24. The most important sex organ is the brain.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: "In five years, will this matter?"

27. Always choose life.

28. Forgive everyone everything.

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.

35. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.

36. Growing old beats the alternative - dying young.

37. Your children get only one childhood. Make it memorable.

38. Read the Psalms. They cover every human emotion.

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.

41. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

42. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.

43. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

44. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

45. The best is yet to come.

46. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

47. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

48. If you don't ask, you don't get.

49. Yield.

50. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.

Unwrap the gift of life ;-) TFx

A Storm is Brewing.....

2010-02-13T15:55:00.005Z

This afternoon, TF rattled the cage of the loose tea leaves resting quietly in the near empty box of Fairtrade Brown Label Tea. After shaking the box she then went gently with them, using no flash whilst snapping the images. Shame about the beige background! ;-)

"Polly put the kettle on we all had tea...."

Bursting the bubble!

2010-02-09T21:27:00.012Z

The trip upto London was fab! :-) Camden Town, Camden Market, Camden Lock, Primrose Hill (not a primrose in sight though!) mid-way point lunch in an Italian restaurant, British Museum, Carnaby Street, Crypt of St Martins in the Fields and the National Theatre - with it's free music concert in the foyer. YIPEE! Beer was £3.65 a bottle (small). Boo! How much? I only had the one. But overall a very good day indeed. It was bloody cold though I was dressed for a spring day! Shorts, T shirt , flip-flops ;-) Note, to myself, watch and listen to the weather forecast in future. Boring! I came back with aching limbs and awoke the next day very late with a sore throat. Oh, it was too ruddy cold to strip naked! I shall protest in the summer ;-)

London is such a diverse city. Full of high-culture with glamour and low life and grime. You see and hear a multitude of dialects - cultured, cockneyish and every foreign language under the sun. All these wonderfully colourful and diverse people. However, just my humble observation, but I saw hardly any or minimum social interaction between groups and individuals on the streets. Everyone seemed encased in their own invisible bubble.Texting, I-pod(ding), people watching.... Strange. These bubbles need bursting methinks. Pop! "Hello, Good morning. ....."

Have we somehow lost the power of speech and communication with our fellow citizen ? Hmmm, I wonder. Bite you tounge TF. Ouch, that bloody hurts. ;-)

The Sad Demise of Original Thoughts....

2010-02-03T16:05:00.014Z

Hmmm, methinks I've lost my ability to think original thoughts. Some would say that isn't such a bad thing ;-) Throughout my life I've always prided myself on thinking out side the box (to coin a phrase) and to see life from another view point or angle. But lately I've become bland like a bucket of unstirred beige congealed paint. I do not like this new me! GOD, maybe, I've reached the stage in my life where I've finally been forced to grown-up and accept the middle ground. Shit! This cannot continue.....

I need to rectify the situation post-haste, otherwise I'm heading on a downward slope into a life of wearing beige blouses, cardies and elasticated trousers and flat sensible shoes!

This Saturday, I'm hot footing it up to London Town, to visit quirky places and experience new and wonderful things. My first port of call is the THE MUSEUM OF EVERYTHING, near Regents Park. Then I'm going to strip naked and protest outside the Houses of Parliament, waving my bra above my 'ead like a mad woman. ;-)

To save me from a fate worst than death, have you any suggestions for other activities I can do on my away day or beyond? (Clean ones, if possible!) Nope! Thought not.

What? Speak up! I can't hear you.

2010-01-29T18:45:00.022Z

Ahhh, time for me to be quiet! Sometimes thinking and talking too much can be hard work and emotionally draining. So, instead allow me to share with you this wonderful poem by a talented American poet. (Methinks this guy has a great understanding of the written word - simply uncomplicated)

Silence by Billy Collins

The room is quiet.

The whirring fan has been unplugged,

and the girl who was tapping a pencil on her desktop has been removed.

So tell us what is on your mind.

We want to hear the sound of your foliage,

the unraveling of your tool kit,

your songs of loneliness,

your songs of hurt.

The trains are motionless on the tracks,

the ships are at rest in the harbor.

The dogs are cocking their heads

and the gods are peering down from their balloons.

The town is hushed,and everyone here has a copy.

So tell us about your parents—your father behind the steering wheel,

your cruel mother at the sink.

Let's hear about all the clouds you saw, all the trees.

Read the poem you brought with you tonight.

The ocean has stopped sloshing around,

and even Beethoven is sitting up in his deathbed,

his cold hearing horn inserted in one ear.

"Silence is golden.."

Have a good weekend. Find time to relax
TFx :)

Cut! Cut! Cut!

2010-01-24T17:40:00.000Z

Do you ever wish you could cut yourself in half?

Not literally, too much blood. YUK!

No, I'm talking more theory 'ere. Just say you could. Life would be so much easier, the right side could deal with all the boring stuff like, shopping, cleaning, washing, ironing, cooking and on and on and on. The list is endless! Then the left side could come out to play and do all the wonderful and rewarding creative stuff, like say writing, painting, photography etc.

I wish I had a twin or magical powers to stop time moving so fast or a housekeeper! ;-)

Hmmm, maybe just maybe I've got a great ability in wasting time! No! Surely not? TF! What? Stop talking twaddle. BUT..... I always talk twaddle! Methinks your readership is getting mighty fed up with all this twaddle talk of yours. Hmmm, now there's a thought .... Yes indeed, so cut it out! CUT! CUT! CUT! :-)

A burnt offering !

2010-01-20T18:20:00.007Z

II know that most of you out there in cyberspace think I'm just a tad bonkers! Well, it's official, I'm. Last night my mission was to spend time scrapping and washing-up the roasting tin! "Sod that" I said, so instead TF spent ages taking photographs of the said burnt roasting tin.

Rather interesting don't you think? Nope! Use thy imagination ;-)

Feed the birds, tuppence a bag...

2010-01-16T20:00:00.003Z

"From the depths of the subconscious mind fragmented memories filter downwards like silent snowflakes" Don't you think? What the f*ck is she talking about now I hear you mutter. Let me explain.

Early last week the "other-half"was working from home. Not good! The telephone was constantly ringing not unlike that of the Presidents phone, when War had been declared. Believe me it was like the "war of words" in the house! But joy, trains were running again, time to be sent off to work with a packed lunch, a kiss and a wave. Silence again would rule. Picture this, on Wednesday I was up at the crack of dawn, frying bacon for the packed lunch. Under strict orders to remove the bacon rinds, before cooking operation commenced. Passing comment from the "other half" before leaving "Enjoy your lazy day! (as if) Why not feed the birds with the bacon rind?" Err..OK, maybe? Note the garden was under a foot of snow, which means to feed the birds I'd to get dressed in layers, hat, gloves, scarf, hunt down shed key, open shed, search for a spade, remove snow from the small patio table before placing " birdies bacon breakfast" on the table. At 14.00 hrs I finally ventured outside! Nearly went arse over face on the patio steps. The two cats "Billy Whizz" and "Buster Keyton" seated on the windowsill, with their Cheshire cat grins started laughing their cotton socks off at me. :O

As a wee girl, feeding the birds was an utter joy. Every day without fail (from about the age of four to six) I would retrieve my little red tricycle, with its dinky liitle bell, parked neatly in the the passage way and make the mammoth journey under my own steam "peddle power" to the house next door where the old widowed lady Mrs S lived. I would knock on her back door, and within minutes I would be seated on an old wooden stool at the Formica table in her post-war style kitchen. Our joint task, was to make small fat balls for the bird table. My job was to mix the food leftovers (bread, suet, seeds, etc) in the pudding basin by hand and then roll into small golf sized balls. Mrs S would then thread the balls with string using a long meat skewer. Together we would venture out into her beautifully kept garden and tie the fat balls to the bird table. Returning back to the kitchen, I was given a small glass of milk and a boiled sweet from the glass sweet jar that lived high up on the top shelf. For the next 10 minutes or so we would watch the birds happily picking away at the fat balls. Oh, such sweet priceless memories.

Meanwhile back in Today's world : Billy Whizz the female cat raced out of the cat flap, jumped up onto the table and greedily scoffed the bacon rind ;-) One fat cat!

The Confessions of a Bag Lady!

2010-01-11T18:35:00.011Z

OK, on this post I thought I'll lighten the load! Now is the time to banish away those washing day blues with a clean break methinks. For it was unfair of me to get your heads in a spin with my previous heavy post now to be renamed - "Thinking is Stinking!" Let me tell you a little secret, get close now and I'll whisper it in your ear. "TF is on a mission!" To go undercover as a bag-lady to watch the "comings and goings" that take place in the laundrette situated in a street near me. My undercover name will be the Yellow Peril!. I suspect that no one will take any notice of me though ;-)

Whilst observing will ......

The bell be pushed ? Ding-dong.

Someone light up a fag?

What willl happen at 8.30pm? A sticky situation methinks!

Hmmm, will TF get her knickers in a knot? Is she heading for a tumble? Will someone wring her neck! Murder? Oh! No! It's a "grime" crime ;-)

ORDER! ORDER! I say

Go on smile, it won't cost you a penny! :-) Although you might just get short changed

A question without an answer !

2010-01-08T20:00:00.002Z

Oh Boy! Oh Boy! My little brain hurts.

A question?

"Do you ever start to read a book and wish you could push the pause button and speak directly to the author say by email or telephone and ask them to explain part of the plot/the meaning of a particular passage/chapter in their book?" Mr Murakami (who I still think is a tremendously talented and clever writer) has started to lose me in his book, I'm currently reading The Wind-up Bird Chronicle (see link in my last post for full details). But,I'm starting to think that maybe that is his deliberate intention. One of his chapters is entitled "No Good News in this Chapter" How cool is that? He's a master in challenging conventional thoughts, I truly like this aspect of his writing. Makes you think! ;-)

Right, with me so far. Let me give you an example of his writing/thinking.

The main character in the book Mr Wind-Up Bird AKA Toru Okada ventures down into the depths of a disused and dried up well to contemplate and think about recent events that have unfolded in his life ! The rope ladder used to climb down into the well has been removed by another central character May Kasahara a young teenager girl. To teach him a lesson she leaves him down the well to fester alone. In essence he becomes her powerless prisoner.(He is released alive!) "Well!" "Well!" I hear you mutter ;-)

Next a conversation between the characters commences which covers various thought provoking subjects such as philosophy, psychology, logic, religion, literature etc. etc. May Kasahara then asks the following of him. And I quote (not word for word otherwise I'll be here until next Christmas!)

" If people lived for ever... If they never got any older.... If they could just go on living in this world, never dying, always healthy. Do you think they would bother to think of things like philosophy, psychology, logic, religion etc etc. I think if there was no such thing as death, that complicated thoughts and ideas like that would never come into the world"

So, what do you think? I'm be f*cked if I know the answer. Hmmm, maybe there's not meant to be an answer, but only a question? ;-) Holy Moses! My next BTR I select is going to be an easy one to follow and understand "Janet and John....."

The Wind-up Bird returns from Outer Space!

2010-01-05T16:20:00.009Z

Now, where were we? Oh! Before I forget, HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU ALL!

Alas, I've been Internet less since the 1st of Jan. What no w.w.w. ?!! Which would normally piss me off BIGTIME! But, not anymore as I've turned over a new leaf. Yep, I'm a new woman! slim, long legged and drop dead gorgeous ;-) I jest, physically still the same (sigh) but mentally I've re-programmed myself. Yes folks, TF has stuck her fingers up to stressy 2009 is now going to go (gently) into 2010, with the flow and live life purely in the present and for the moment. No longer, looking back in anger or forward in trepidation. No! No! No!

It's funny but without the Internet, I've been reading. Read two books in 3 days (Well, one and a half books to tell the truth. But. the second book is well over 600 pages in length, a lot of words to digest! ). The first was The Hound of the Baskervilles by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, published in 1902, a mighty fine tale (Tail! Woof! Woof!) indeed. The second book is a MUST read, so delicate almost like fine tissue paper. The novel is beautifully constructed ,say like a sushi feast of well prepared Japanese food. Each element/segment/chapter has a rich but unique flavour. I cannot wait to get into bed tonight and start reading the rest of the book which is called The Wind-up Bird Chronicle by Haruki Murakami.
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However, first I've got to finish preparing and cooking supper (homemade steak and kidney stew. What TF cooking? I know. Strange but true!). I'll read your lovely blogs (I just need to make sure you're not getting yourself into any mischief like getting pregnant, running away with the milkman etc etc) and comment shortly.

But, first and foremost a glass of chilled white wine beckons ;-) Good for your heart. So I'm told :-) Hmmm, maybe that's red wine. Oh Sod it! Cheers anyway. Go with the flow, I say! Let''s raise a glass (or two) to the Yin and Yang of life:-)

Oh Carol you're such a fool !

2009-12-23T18:32:00.012Z

OK, let's attempt to finish this year on a high note! In the Tom Foolery style, it's time for a sing-song. Ready after three? 1, 2, 3

"Jingle Bells

Dashing through the snow

In a one horse open sleigh

O'er the fields we go

Laughing all the way..."

A risk assessment must be submitted before an open sleigh is considered safe for members of the public to travel on. The risk assessment must also consider whether it is appropriate to use only one horse for such an adventure, particularly if passengers are of larger proportions. Please note, permission must be gained from landowners before entering their fields. To avoid offending those not participating in celebrations, we would request that laughter is moderate only and not loud enough to be considered a noise nuisance.

NEXT

"While shepherds watched

Their flocks by night

All seated on the ground

The angel of the Lord came down..."

And glory shone around

The union of Shepherd's has complained that it breaches health and safety regulations to insist that shepherds watch their flocks without appropriate seating arrangements being provided, therefore benches,stools and orthopaedic chairs are now available. Shepherds have also requested that due to the inclement weather conditions at this time of year that they should watch their flocks via cctv cameras from centrally heated shepherd observation huts. Please note, the angel of the lord is reminded that before shining his /her glory all around she / he must ascertain that all shepherds have been issued with glasses capable of filtering out the harmful effects of UVA, UVB and Glory.

"Little donley on the dusty road

Got to keep on plodding

onwards with your precious load..."

The RSPCA have issued strict guidelines with regard to how heavy a load that a donkey of small stature is permitted to carry, also included in the guidelines is guidance regarding how often to feed the donkey and how many rest breaks are required over a four hour plodding period. Please note that due to the increased risk of pollution from the dusty road, Mary and Joseph are required to wear face masks to prevent inhalation of any airborne particles. The donkey has expressed his discomfort at being labelled 'little' and would prefer just to be simply referred to as Mr. Donkey. To comment upon his height or lack thereof may be considered an infringement of his equine rights. Neigh lad ;-)

Oh, how does Silent Night, grab you? Have a wonderful Christmas folks :-) TFxx

She was old enough to know better!

2009-12-22T13:26:00.008Z

Feeling Green (image by TF).

Sssshhhhhhhh! Speak very quietly, whisper those words of wisdom. I've reached the conclusion that I will never truly grow-up! I shall remain forever young like little Tom Thumb. (Oh,that rhymed). Yesterday this middle aged old hag waddled into a "themed" Irish public house to let her hair down like Rapunzel and celebrate the "other half's" birthday. Downing far to much "black stuff" followed by glasses of chilled fizz the old hag now has a pounding headache (hangover)! To try and rectify the situation Little Miss Piggy has just swallowed two headache tablets, four pickled onions, a slab of lemon cake, pate on toast (pate way passed it's sell by date!) and twenty plus Christmas chocolates. Methinks time to wrap up the pressies. But first a wee little afternoon nap beckons. Beauty sleep!

Sssshhhh. Please do not disturb. Genius, deep in thought! ;-) Is it Boxing Day yet?

Keeping thy 'ead down!

2009-12-16T19:00:00.003Z

Knitting image by TF

Just a quickie ;-) to let you know that I'm alive and kicking. BIG thank you for your comments, so kind of you all :-) (Yet again, stressy times in TF towers (flipped my 'ead a wee bit) more shit has been added to the pile. But as they say, onwards and upwards. Best foot forward. Roll on 2010)

So I've been keeping my 'ead down literally - taking photographs of bridle paths and pavements! The above image (lift your ruddy 'ead up) named "Knitting" was taken at a obscure angle whilst the camera was shaken (but not stirred) ;-)

Right off you go and get on with stuffing thy turkey, peeling the spuds and sipping the sherry. Oh! Don't forget to turn the oven on :-)

2009-12-09T23:43:00.004Z

UPDATE: 9/12/09

I've pulled the plug on my daily blog "The Alternative Advent Calendar" (bit of a damp squid on my part, took off more than I could chew. Too greedy!) Plus methinks (and knows, wise old bird me!) that I've totally lost the ability to pen witty words (and words in general). Maybe they're buried under my ironing pile!

Without further ado let me wish you all a Very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. I TRULY hope your future dreams and plans for 2010 come true.

With the bit between her teeth she rides out into the blazing sunset on the back of a galloping horse. STEADY OLD GIRL! ;-)

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Oh! Remember in life to make changes (and to attempt to change views of others) always find time to question, listen and probe. (Never accept things at face value. Sometimes the unspoken words are those with the deepest meanings).

Take care

TFxx.

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The Alternative Advent Calendar # 2

2009-12-02T03:30:00.001Z

If you want to talk to me, I'll be at the link below for he next 24 days or so.

Try and join me if you can , if not, no problem :-)

http://thealternativeadventcalendar.blogspot.com/

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The Alternative Advent Calendar

2009-12-01T07:00:00.006Z

The clock is ticking, let's not waste a second. Yes folks, the time has arrived to get this Christmas Show on the road!

Be warned, the F-word and B-Word will feature a great deal over the next 25 days !

Click on the pic below to enter and collect your

FREE

deliciously smooth, seductive chuck of chocolate.

Satisfaction guaranteed with every bite!

Coming Soon.....

2009-11-27T18:07:00.005Z

COMING SOON.. to a screen near you!

Free chocolate to all readers ;-) Blinkin' 'eck TF, you sound ruddy desperate! There be nowt wrong with a wee bit of marketing (bribery)!) YES FOLKS! In front of your very own eyes, don't miss a golden opportunity to witness a world premiere of a brand new daily blog called:

Drum roll!

The Alternative Advent Calendar

staring the one and only bullshitter blogger herself "Tom Foolery". Back by popular demand (!)(nope!) - for a limited period of twenty five days only. Praise the Lord!

When? Where? Why? (boredom! plus I miss writing (crap) !) (Taps her nose) All will be revealed next Tuesday the 1st December.

Front row seats still available! Roll up! Roll up! ;-)

Vision On

2009-11-25T16:00:00.002Z

Thoughts for the Day (from the 'ead of TF! Who?) ;-)

"A foggy day is a sunny day with the lenses cap left on."

"Sometimes in life you'll score an own goal, but never lose sight of the overall game"

A Trunk Call!

2009-11-20T16:30:00.003Z

Ring... Ring....

playing Bach ;-)

Any F*cker can write a novel - UPDATE!

2009-11-11T16:00:00.021Z

Bubble! Bubble! Toil and Trouble!

You will be pleased to know (or not) that I’ve come to my senses (some would say well overdue) and reached the conclusion that this writing (novel/book/comic?) malarkey is ruddy difficult! I’ve taken off more that I can chew and I’m now suffering from a bad bout of heartburn.

In my stupidly I thought it would be easy to pen a "novel"" that was both serious and sophisticated (just like me!) with a moralistic edge to it ;-) BUT as soon as my back was turned and I took my eye off the ball, what happens? Let me tell you! My words turned into a melting pot of utter dribble – with not an ounce of style in sight. Correction. The novel did actually have style. The trouble is it has a bloody unique style all of its own! Only to be truly appreciated by those who have a strong liking for Mills & Boon crossed with Spike Milligan on speed, a dab of Enid Blyton, far too much Tom Sharpe and wooden characters that are straight out of a fairy story. What the Dickens?

It’s a culinary delight, like a dish of wobbling pink blancmange covered in onion gravy, with a plate of jellied eels as your side order. All neatly swallowed down with a milkshake made from milk that is well passed its sell by date. Bloody lovely! Tempted? Nah! Thought not.

I cannot believe that I’ve written 6000+ words of utter dribble (holds shaking head in hands). with seven characters! I wonder if I introduced too many characters too soon? It did have NINE! But I killed two off and it’s not even a blinkin' crime novel! The seven complex characters were all jostling to take centre stage and have top billing. (Pipe down will you? Stop shoving. PLEASE! You’re giving me a blinkin’ ‘eadache).

The storylines were knitting together like a confused granny who had lost both her glasses and thread and was getting her big bloomers in a twist. (Knitting was never my strong point! I’m not a granny!).

I now TRULY believe to write a novel you need the following attributes: -

1.first and foremost, lashings and lashings of natural talent.
2. an orderly and structured mind.
3. stick ability.

I have none of the above attributes. For I’ve been attempting to ice the blinkin’ cake and stick the cherry on top before the cake had been taken out of the ruddy oven – a recipe for disaster! I cannot believe that I’ve (wasted my valuable time) written 6000+ words of utter dribble! Actually, there were 15 words that I rather liked, partly used to describe one of the characters (based on me! Holy Moses! ). And I quote:- (WARNING: This is as good as it gets!)

"She begun firing out words reminiscent of an adolescent in charge of a machine gun"

Why oh why didn't she fire out 6000+ perfect words? For fifteen words doesn’t a novel make!

(So in a NUTSHELL! Brace yourselves) My love affair with the written word is over for GOOD (which includes writing this blog - I've been struggling for awhile with composing my words/thoughts. Not sure, but I guess, CRAPPY stuff happening in real life maybe hindering my flow). So, I want to thank you for reading and commenting :-) I'll pop by to your blog from time to time,to annoy you and just to check up that you're behaving yourselves! TRY AND BE GOOD NOW :-) I'm going to just concentrate on taking photos - in the long run, less complicated - just aim and fire. BINGO! :-)

So, free to good home - 6000+ WORDS OF UTTER DRIBBLE! Any takers? Nah! ;-)

The Famous Five !

2009-11-10T16:11:00.003Z

The Joy of Jam Jar days

2009-11-08T09:30:00.004Z

Time for a bit of reflective thinking........

Yesterday afternoon I went for a wee wander around a local graveyard mainly to find some solitude and peace - far away from the brake neck speed imposed on us by modern life.

My ears were awoken by the sound of an organist playing in the church. (I suspect he was practising for the Remembrance Day service). I tentatively walked up to the church, the doors were closed, so I day sat down quietly on an old wooden pew just outside the entrance to the church.

For five minutes or so I drank in the beautiful atmosphere of the moment - the wonderful sound and light hitting and bouncing off the walls of the the tiny church porch way was simply, pure magic. A gift from God?

A moment in time to capture in a jam jar and re-live again methinks. (I share the image with you).

Remember always find time to enjoy your jam jar days. Alas, for some it's too late.

Blow your own trumpet!

2009-11-04T16:45:00.007Z

The wonderful and witty woman who goes by the name of Clarkey, has today bestowed a great honour on me, arise Dame Tom Foolery. Off with your head! Hang on a wee minute got me wires a tad crossed 'ere. I'm not a Panto Dame after all (Boo! Hoo!) Actually it's better than a Damehood (?) it be this little award.

Merci Madam Clarkey, I take me hat off to you :-)

Oh, in return I've penned you a little ) retort :-),

or some armless fun

to sing to the little vermin hiding behind your bath panel! Sing loud now ;-)

Oh, before I forget I've got to pass the award on to someone. I've just started following the adventures of KATE, a very funny blog. all about the life in a London publishing office. Worth a wee look. :-). Go on it's free it won't cost you a penny!

Sing, sing a song, make it simple to last all day long.... (Apologises for picture but this is the only one I've taken of a trumpet/bugle)

*
Humble home hounded

ransacking rioting rodents

ferret fresh foodstuffs

dropping devastating diseases

violating victims

*
(Enter stage right: Beside bath panel, bugle is blown)

visiting vermin vanished

Pied Piper preforms

pest-control

playing Puccini

pest pack part

outraged

OMG! OMG! OMG!

OPERA!

(Private joke: but Ms Clarkey, like me HATES blinkin' OPERA! It be an insult to the old eardrums!)

OK! I'm going back into my box ;-)

Brighton Rocks!

2009-11-01T10:05:00.009Z

"Oh, I do like to be beside the seaside, beside the sea..."

Brighton Rocks!

Those lovely observant ones amongst you will notice that the image of the above Pier was not actually taken in Beautiful Brighton but further along the coast in Sunny Eastbourne. And yes indeed it was a lovely sunny day on Thursday when your truly visited, this grand gentle geriatric town. After consuming a large Italian feast (three courses/coffee/red vino), we ventured out to the dizzy heights of Beachy Head. I so do love the view from high up on the cliffs, the landscape is beautiful - rolling hills, sheep grazing in fields and back-combed windswept trees.(Nice place to have your ashes scattered methinks).

We drove further along the coastal road to Burling Gap. (see images below to get the full picture of the place). The cliffs are eroding away. Who lives in a house like that? Talk about living on the edge!

On the beach just around the corner is a beautiful red and white lighthouse. So, we staggered down the rickety wooden staircase mainly to pick up a few pebbles from the beach. But Ms TF had another plan to walk around the corner and snap a few photos of that said lighthouse. After clambering over the large slippery rocks building up a sweat, I was stopped in mid step by an official looking guy with a clipboard. He asked me very politely to stop! He then explained that a film crew were down on the beach (near the lighthouse) filming a remake of the "Brighton Rock" (written by Graham Greene).

I cheekily asked him if they were looking for any extras for the film. He smiled at me then for some reason started chuckling :O One day I'll get a photo of that lighthouse!

***

Right, can't stop chatting all day. I've got a book to write! Which is rolling along very nicely indeed, rather like an out of control fairground bumper car driven by a tipsy mad woman with no sense. (of direction) ;-) I just need to avoid those cliffs. Ahhh, such an uplifting thought :-)

What? No comment!

2009-10-28T13:20:00.009Z

I've been thinking! Oh, No! Here we go again ;-)

I was going to give you a wonderful post about my trip yesterday to the "City by the Sea" Brighton. We went here. Welcome to the pleasure Dome! Oh, we travelled part of the way by bus, sat behind a chap who was the splitting image of that guy from Little Britain (the one in the wheelchair) I resisted the temptation to tap him on the shoulder and have a wee chat!) Only just though...

But, I got a bit distracted (like you do) and got thinking about the subject of COMMENTS on blog posts. So let's just clarify the meaning of the word "comment" which is defined in the dictionary as follows:-

Comment: (from the Latin word commentum: invention)

1. a remark, criticism or observation
2. a situation or event that expresses some feeling
3. talk or gossip

Now did you notice the word in red bold? Keep the word INVENTION at the fore front of your little wee brain, I'll be back to it in a short while. Don't forget now!

A question: Why do we blog? Why indeed! Me reckons it's all to do with our need to COMMUNICATE. You might find it hard to believe but before posting, I do try to put some intelligent thought (but not too much!) into my words. By launching and publishing a blog post into blog sphere are we not attempting to: tell a story/convey a feeling/tell a joke/educate and inform/rant and rave/etc etc through words (and images)?

Does that mean that every blog post needs a reaction in the form of a comment or comments from a third party/parties to be validated? Oh,Yes! Nah!

With me so far? Keep up, now!

Now, cast your mind back to the word INVENTION. Which roughly means: to invent (from the Latin word invenire to find) to THINK and CREATE something new. So by adding a comment/comments you're being a creative and resourceful little soul. You're adding something new to the situation, say like the cherry on the cake. Well, I'll be buggered!

So, go forth seek and you shall FIND.

Comment (um!) Nah! Can't be arsed! ;-) But it's good to comment :-) So thank you for commenting on this blog for without you I'll b talking to myself! Which wouldn't be good at all. Trust me! ;-) Plus methinks, some of the best writing takes place in the old comments box.

Now for something different

2009-10-25T11:14:00.003Z

Few words today, for I've temporarily lost my voice!

Praise the Lord!

So I give you black and white images instead :(

I've been looking at the concept of differences. All in the name of research you understand.(Nope, not really I hear you mutter ;-)

Oh, TF makes a guest appearance in image two. Click on the image to see what emerges from out of the shadows. ;-)

Pardon! Vhat did you say Fraulein ?

2009-10-20T15:30:00.017+01:00

You MUST read the following out loud in an accent of your choice, but not your own accent! To help may I be bold to suggest, German, French, Italian, American........

Ready 1, 2, 3... Sit up straight. Let me tell you a story.

"Once upon a time, in a distance past a little lost soul went in search of her voice..... "

Speak up! Speak up! We can't 'ear you woman! (They SHOUTED at the top of their voices)

ALRIGHT!, ALRIGHT! "ONCE UPON A TIME IN A DISTANCE PAST A LITTLE LOST SOUL WENT IN SEARCH OF A SOLUTION TO THE PROBLEM OF HER MISSING VOICE.." Ha! Ha! It was found!!! Now let me tell you the secret of how it was found (she whispers, taps her nose, it be top secret, OK need to have a butchers in my little pink notebook for the full sp).

OK, never go with the flow, just like the little lost soul who yesterday at 16.00 hours on the spur of the moment took a diversion into the BIG grown up theatre world by herself to find out more about the workings and secrets of a bestselling published writer. Oh! Who? Who would that be I HEAR you mutter? Wait! (She be a mighty fine lady and writer)

So let me first give you some clues, in no particular order (TF as you know hates order - disorded rules OK)

1. This author had 36 rejects before getting published. Born 1946. First published novel 2005.
2. She writes in bed using a laptop and believes that writing in bed makes the whole writing process feel like play. I like her thinking ;-)
3. Always reads her emails before she starts writing for the day. Good girl.
4. Doesn't as a rule write out of sequence. Oh! dear! Boring!
5. If a character isn't playing ball, kill them off. BANG! BANG!
6. Agrees that all writers have "ice in their hearts". Hmmm, very interesting indeed.
7. Comic writers overall are very serious individuals. Well! Well!
8. Uses Google for research. Yahoo!
9. Uses characters found in everyday life. Oh, yes indeed!
10. Believes writers should be chatty and nosey. Nah!

So, yesterday afternoon I found my voice (Hooray!) Today its reverted to someone talking Double Dutch! (Boo! Hoo!). Oh, just in case you are still awake (stop yawning), reading or are a tad nosey or interested, the name of the writer is pasted up in the comments box. Only trouble is it's in Morse code. (I jest) ;-) Tap, Tap, - let me out of this blog! Methinks I need to find my serious side again :(

Hmmm, I wonder if I should change my name by deed poll?

Sky in the Pie! or Pie in the Sky?

2009-10-16T20:00:00.002+01:00

I've always been a wee bit of an advocate of seeing things/life from another perspective/point of view. Looking in at the bad and trying to see some good. Some kids (I presume, but may of been a gang of OAP's!) set fire to a disused old metal blue skip stored in the car park of the local railway station. My biddy (nosey) eyes and camera spied some beautiful patterns/images found on the side of the skip after the fire.

From a bad action some beauty emerged methinks

Unlike this f*cking novel that is running away with me BIGTIME!. I feel like I'm cycling down a steep hill on a wobbly bicycle with the realisation that the brakes are knackered. A bumpy trip and landing methinks.

Oh, I'm rather excited as tomorrow, I'm going to spend an evening in the company of of Roger McGough - The Patron Saint of Poetry who is doing a talk at the local theatre. Hope to get some inspiration from him. :-)

Stop talking in the third person!

2009-10-14T17:57:00.008+01:00

Mental note:Under no circumstances listen to the advice you receive in the your comments box. I could kill you lot! I've been merrily tapping away on my keyboard clocking up the old wordcount to an impressive 2,216 words on my serious and moralistic novel! Then in a peak of madness (or boredom) I've slipped in a touch of black humour :O.

I now have a bit character who is and I quote

"a virginal bible bashing teetotaller who refuses to venture out after dark,unless it's in a full moon, with a broomstick firmly lodged between her legs". I ask you! Not.

OK, a serious writing question, on the subject of dialogue. Is it easier to write in the first person or the third person in dealing with conversations/arguments between various characters in a novel?

For at the moment I'm tempted to have Pete the wandering Gnome as my narrator. Hmmm, that could be a tad interesting methinks! ;-) ?

Back on track "That's the way to do it!"

2009-10-12T15:32:00.009+01:00

Right I'm now mixing with the human race again. Alas. one has to pay the mortgage, bills etc, etc. BTW I didn't win the lottery. Boo! Hoo!

Some of you who have been reading this wee blog for sometime (10 out of 10 for stick ability,I say!. Some have stopped reading/commenting on this blog which is also fine and dandy - for in life nothing lasts forever and our paths may only cross for a very short time on this journey of life) will of gathered that I'm a bit of a fickle lady with a limited amount of discipline and a bit of a piss-taker.

But not anymore! No! No! No! For this weekend I've changed from that grubby grey caterpillar into a beautiful butterfly ready to fly onwards and upwards ;-)

Confession time! I've started writing a novel (WHAT AGAIN?) I know some of you have heard this before) BUT this time it's different. Trust me (GOD! I'm sounding like a MP! Words are flowing out of my imagination like a bubble making machine on full throttle. The funny thing is the novel (it has a working title at the moment of ("Any F*cker can write a book! ;-) ") is taking a very serious and mature path. With not an ounce of humour or witty words from yours truly. OK, the overweight arthritic ginger cat is called Humpty Dumpty but he had a limited time span. Before he was carted off by the RSPCA. Alive and kicking ;-)

I'm writing it in the third person, so far (since Saturday) 1,151 words have been typed and committed to paper. I'm editing it very tightly any words surplus to requirements have been banished to the wastepaper bin.

I'm committed to do 500 words a day. See told you I was disciplined :-)

I Wish I Loved the Human Race!

2009-10-09T16:20:00.003+01:00

I wish I loved the Human Race;

I wish I loved its silly face;

I wish I liked the way it walks;

I wish I liked the way it talks;

And when I'm introduced to one,

I wish I thought "What Jolly Fun!"

Sir Walter A Raleigh (1861-1922)

I'm a tad pissed off this week with the human race. I want to be like Dr Dolittle and talk to the animals instead. Like a grouchy grizzly bear I'm going to hibernate this weekend and "do-little" just find time to stuff my face with chocolate, get fat and spotty. Then, I'm I'm going to win the lottery and emigrate to sunnier climates - preferably a deserted island.

Ahhh, bugger! Now look! Even the bloody animals are getting peeved off with each other.

Oh, Stuff it! "Fly me to the moon....."

Deviant Behaviour - Part 1

2009-10-05T16:30:00.006+01:00

WARNING! This post may lose you somewhat. I've written it and it confuses me! ;-)

For those of you who are paying attention you may remember(or not) that I mentioned in my last post about my love affair/obsession with the act of deviant behaviour. So what is deviant behaviour? The dictionary states that deviant (the blood brother of deviate) is from the Latin word "deviare" meaning "to turn aside from the direct road" or in plain English "to deviate from what is considered acceptable behaviour". But here lies the dichotomy of life, who judges what is acceptable or unacceptable behaviour- the individual, parents, teachers, authority, the Church or the Government?

Let me give you a simple example to try and explain (further confuse you!).

The act of graffiti (my pet love) would naturally be classified as deviant/unacceptable behaviour. On route to work I walk over a bridge covered in graffiti (see my prevous post for some of the images). As soon as graffiti is plastered on the wall the Local Authority paints over it in light green coloured paint. This is followed by yet more graffiti, then more green paint, more graffiti, more green paint. It's like a ping-pong match with no winner (as of yet!) A battle of wills. I love it!

Last week the walls have been painted green again. However, the Local Authority have now resorted to a new tactic by copying the graffiti artist, for plastered on the footpath in white chalk leading upto and from the bridge ARE the following words:-

Some would say these words are just a warning. BUT, is it not an act of deviant behaviour by the Local authority? Mixed messages methinks?

Or perhaps am I just being deviant? "The answer my friend is blowing in the wind...." She says blowing a raspberry! ;-)

Methinks I should write a book on the art of deviant behaviour!. Only joking, Folks!

Oh, No! Double Trouble!

2009-10-01T17:02:00.013+01:00

Please don't adjust your digital boxes or stop drinking (a bit early in the day for that methinks!) they're in actual fact two identical images floating before your very eyes. Let's call it a visual echo. Two wonderful fellow bloggers, Debs and Ms Allsorts have both bestowed this fab award on me. TF accepts them both with good cheer and gratitude. Merci :-) Now when you get awards you've to give something back in return. Remember, there's no such thing as a free lunch! Apparently, I've to list five of my current obsessions. By nature I'm not very obsessive (I lie that's why I could never start Facebooking or Twittering!)

OK let me think.

1. Chocolate. On a good day I will scoff at least three bars of chocolate on a bad day only one! ;-)

Hmmm, now for the next 4. Let me ponder this for a wee moment. Excuse me whilst I take a trip to the bathroom. Ahhhh, that's better, what a relief!

2. Humour. I work with a lady who never smiles (she also hates music -classifies it as an unnecessary evil!) I tend to sing a happy wee tune or tell a joke when she wanders within earshot of my space. I like a challenge you see, for I strongly believe that one day she will crack a smile. The champagne is on ice ;-)

3. Deviant behaviour- I just love it! :-) My next post (most probably) I'll waffle on about this somemore. Watch this space!

4. Art Photography. YAWN! YAWN! Boring for those who don't like, so I won't talk anymore on that subject!

5. Word formation especially if it's quirky/poetry. So let's stretch your imagination with this little beauty.

Geraldine Giraffe

The
longest
ever
woolly
scarf
was
worn
by
Geraldine
Giraffe.
Around
her
neck
the
scarf
she
wound,
but
still
it
trailed
upon
the
ground.

by Colin West

I'm now going to put my neck on the line and invite anyone to take this award, with my pleasure and play along with the tag. :-)

You two,three or four or even more could be head and shoulders above everyone else ;-)

Come over and chew on a Curly Wurly

2009-09-28T16:20:00.005+01:00

HELP! (Hopefully I've reeled you in with the delicious smell and sight of C H O C O L A T E !

This middle-aged (can't believe I've just written that!) damsel in distress who is mildly senile needs your assistance in solving a MYSTERY! Look I'm DESPERATE to find the answer to a puzzle. I've tried using YAHOO, Google and even asked Jeeves (fat lot of use he was- typical man! (I jest. Most men are perfect I find, once they learn the rules of the jungle (Jane rules!) ;-).

So cast your minds back to those carefree days of the 1970's. Remember those halcyon days before megalomaniac Mrs T took power. Three day weeks. sugar rations. Heatwaves. The decade of interesting fashion - cheesecloth shirts, afghan coats, bellbottoms (I wore a shitty brown pair with a bright yellow tank-top - thought I was the bees knees! Hot-Pants! Alright, I had a pillar box red pair. Jesus. I was VERY young and easily lead then. Now I'm old and hard to please. The days of glam rock and the start of Punk. The era of the delicious Daves - Bowie, Cassidy, Essex, Marc Bolan and the Tartan lads with the trousers that their Mummies shrunk in the wash the "Bay City Rollers". Woody was cute.

OK, has your mind returned to the 70's yet? . Nope! What do you mean nope! I'm counting on you. Don't let me down now . OK, let's talk confectionery then. Chocolate! - Curly Wurlys, Caramac, Fry's 5 Centre, orange, lemon and ??? SHIT what were the other three flavours? Bugger! What about love Hearts, cola cubes, sherbet dips,flying sauces,black jacks and fruit salads. Oh and Jamboree Bags! (always thought this blog is a wee bit like the contents of a jamboree bag full of promising treats that kind of disappoint and taste well a bit CRAP!) ;-) Right start sucking on a lemon sherbet as hopefully you mind has now taken a trip back in time This is where I need your input. Now, am I going mad? (don't answer that for that is not the question up for discussion! ;-)

But, can anyone out there remember what these little blighters were called?

These were plastic? rubber? shaped fruity men. You stuck them on the end of your pencil. Collected and swopped them with your friends. Each fruit was depicted by a colour eg. red for strawberry. Did these little fruity things really exist or were they just a figment of my over active imagination? This sad soul needs the answer to this quandary.

All in the name of research you understand ;-)

Trust your unconscious

2009-09-22T19:25:00.004+01:00

By nature I'm a deep-thinker (sometimes my views are a tad radical and can vie from the sublime to the ridiculous). Some would say I'm a kaleidoscope of contradiction, but so be it. I've always refused to accept the status quo and have a strong need to question. A trait that can get me into trouble. But surely the boat has to be rocked for some form of progress or change to be made.

However, I'm also a great believer in trusting your unconscious mind. I read these words ages ago from a book (can't remember what it was called) and jotted them down on a scrap of paper. Whilst searching in my bag the other day come across the scrap of paper. So I share the words with you. They say it's good to share. (chocolate!) No!

"A tip for writers. Whenever an image, a voice, a character comes unbidden into your mind - was not there at all at one moment, and suddenly is the next - go with it. And all of us, writers or not, should heed our dreams, because in dreams the unconscious mind tells us what we really want"

Hmmm, I wonder.

Posthumous Post! A Writing Crime!

2009-09-14T15:20:00.003+01:00

"Posthumous Post" - Don't panic I'm not dead (yet!) But, me reckons after reading this post you may just employ a hit man to prevent me from writing anymore). Right, a word of warning read the next paragraph ONLY - then bog off to another blog.

The wonderful published crime writer Shirley Wells who has great taste (just like yourself!)for continuing to read and comment on this CRAP blog has inspired me to write a crime novel ;-) I'm currently reading her wonderful novel "Into the Shadows". And a MIGHTY fine read indeed. A witty and quick paced page turner with a few naughty swear words! (I like) Her crime novel is a MUST read! My copy was ordered from the local library - it's in large print so I've no need to wear my specs to read it. An added bonus methinks :-)

So without further ado, let me put you out of your misery. I now give you ( a further insight into my mad over active mind) the moralistic crime novel "Posthumous Post." Words and images by yours truly. Right, your second chance to bog off.

Oh,just in case you're (still reading. STOP) thinking I'm being serious ;-) - please note this is a black humoured and "tongue in cheek" picanovel. It's liable to give you chronic indigestion. Unless, that is, you've a stomach for fish. Oh, "Posthumous Post" is short and sweet and to the point. A bit like me I guess. Except I'm 6ft tall! I jest. I'm 5.6 neither short nor tall. Just perfectly formed (I lie) ;-)

Posthumous Post by TF.

Manic Monday mid-morning

Father Franz
calculating cunning clergymen

cruelly catches curtailing
goggle-eyed gigantic goldfish
glazed-over gulping "Guppy" gives-up
*
GOING!
GOING!
GONE!

clasp-knife cuts contaminated catch

Friday's fishy feast festers

(Hmmmm, do you smell something fishy 'ere?

Maybe a clue?)

Festive Friday

frying flip-less fish
fallible feckless Father Franz
feels faint from festering fishy fumes
falsetto four-letter words freely flow
from faltering feverish frightened Father
*
F*CK! F*CK! F*CK!
*

permentating punishing pungent poison penetrates
drawing dramatic devastating death
*
malicious malfunctioning murderer meets Maker!

*
Farewell Father Franz!

*
Catholic church condemns crime

Gulp! Gulp!

Holy Moses. You've lost the plot BIGTIME TF!

Ahhh, that be the "rot of the plot!" :-) A fishy tale.

And the moral of the story: Stop reading when I tell you to do so! ;-)

Oh Lord, Grant me the power to turn back time

2009-09-10T07:00:00.001+01:00

Tomorrow marks the 8th anniversary of 9/11.

On the 9th Sept 2001, N.Y.C. was awoken at daybreak by clear blue skies full of hope, possibilities and dreams. Within a blink of an eye for many those dreams were shattered forever. My mind, like the planes ploughing into the Twin Towers that day were overcome by the engulfing and bellowing toxic clouds that eventually resulted in the collapsed carnage of death and destruction. What a tragic lost of life. The thing that saddened me most that day was that their final hours were transmitted in real time by the media for the whole world to see and witness. Death should be private.

I'm sure that the sight and bitter taste of death touched us all on that fatal day - those iconic images shall be forever ingrained in my mind.

Of course, for many the nightmare still continues. Since 9/11 - some (possible) 360+ workers who dealt with the aftermath of the World Trade Centre disaster have since died. The number of serviceman (woman) (and civilians) killed in action or due to the war in Iraq and Afghanistan rises daily.

At times, I guess we're all guilty of fretting over the trivial details of life, perhaps even losing sight and forgetting to focus on the bigger and wider picture. So tomorrow, try to find time to remember, count your blessings and be truly thankful that you still have the opportunity of (potentially) fulfilling and living your dreams.

Alas, for some it's too late.

Ssshhh! PLEASE I'm trying to read!

2009-09-03T20:40:00.009+01:00

WHY 'O' WHY ARE PEOPLE ALLOWED THESE DAYS TO SHOUT IN LIBRARIES?

WHY ARE UNSUPERVISED CHILDREN ALLOWED TO RUN AROUND THE LIBRARY CAUSING MAYHEM?

WHAT EVER HAPPENED TO THE NOTION OF SHOWING RESPECT TO OTHERS?

After ten noisy minutes, I managed to find a quite corner to read. BUT, some twat with a mobile phone glued to his ear started to inform his wife/partner of every book that was available on the shelves within the travel section. Look matey, PLEASE just push off - somewhere/anywhere preferable a place across the other side of the world. Please just leave me a alone, silence your voice and give me some peace for you're blocking the airwaves with all your droning dribble. What was really needed was one of those stern librarians from my childhood days with her finger firmly placed on her lips hissing the warning sound of Ssshhh!!!
Methinks it's about time this Govt introduced Library police. Then anyone caught making an unnecessary noise within the confined space of a library would be given an automatic fine and escorted from the premises by the "Bobby Book Bouncers." Their library card would be confiscated for a period of say a fortnight on the understanding that it would only be invoked again after a "My Lips are Sealed"" contract was signed in triplicate in red blood.I shall write to my MP post haste with this suggestion! ;-)

Hmmm, talking of fines it wold appear that my library books were overdue! TF misplaced (somewhere in her bag/wallet) the little white slip informing her the date her books were due back. I owe Surrey County Council the grand sum of 89 pence. I'm now a full-fledged criminal ;-) But your lips are sealed. OK?

A D.I.Y uplifting experience!

2009-09-01T16:19:00.000+01:00

I've had a face lift! Yesterday I mixed a cheap and cheerful Superdrug mud face pack with a tube of superglue - the result are amazing! ;-) My lips are sealed so can't utter a bloody word. Silence is golden.......

I jest. For TF, being so beautiful in her natural born state ;-) (and being far to tight-fisted) would NEVER dream of indulging in a face lift. A boob job maybe! or teeth whitening - to radiant that confident smile.

I (tut, tut, naughty TF the third sentence starting with the word " I " ) woke up at three o'clock this morning (having trouble sleeping at the moment - negative stuff keeps whizzing around my head) I fear I may have to resort to the dreadful solution of drinking HORLICKS before retiring to bed! YUK! YUK!

BUT, this three o'clock moment today was different! I've had a serious good talking to myself (with no backchat allowed) and have decided that I'm going to live life in the moment and stop worrying about things I've no control over.

In celebration at 5pm, I'm going to pour myself a chilled glass of vino and cook a hearty dish of "bangers and mash" (might even make some bisto gravy) to be followed by a homemade (BY ME!) apple crumble. This year we had a grand total of 8 cooking apples on our apple tree. (and can you Adam and Eve it two of them had worm holes?)

But, am I downhearted? Nope?

What be the Universal Language?

2009-08-24T10:14:00.006+01:00

Right, one of my deep-thinking posts! Groan!

What is the universal language? I'm sure Google could come up with the answer in a few seconds whether it be French, English or Chinese or whatever. But I'm not talking about the language of the spoken word. But, what unites us together? Love? Hate?

During early August, I spent 10 days in rural France in Brittany. We stayed in a remote hamlet with just a handful of houses and a small chapel. The Gite we sited up high on a hill overlooking the next small hamlet. From the bedroom window of the Gite could be viewed a large white wooden cross erected in memory of some villagers that were shot at that very spot by Germany soldiers for harbouring members of the French Resistance. Without fail, every evening an old French lady would slowly walked up to the white cross. She would reach out and touch the cross and stare at the view for a few minutes before retracing her footsteps back to her home. I'm sure if I asked (but my French being far too limited and maybe the question would be far too insensitive ) she would of confirmed that she was related to those who had lost their lives.

Her younger friend (mid/late 60's) daily tendered a vegetable and flower garden. Words cannot explain how beautiful she kept it. So let the photo do the talking.

Each morning, at the crack of dawn we would go for a walk to wake up our tired bodies (full to the brim with excellent wine and rich french food!) before indulging in a hearty breakfast! During the walk (when we all stopped natting ) your mind just drunk in the sheer peace (no distracting and grating urban noises) and savoured the simple tranquility of watching and hearing the Housemartins (Swallows?) It felt like time had stood still. Oh,it felt bloody good.

On returning from the walk one morning, the others drove down to the next village to buy provisions. I stayed put in the Gite to shower and plan the day's activities. Suddenly my concentration was disturbed by a gentle knock at the door (see photo above). On opening the blue door the old lady greeted me with a beaming smile and handed me a freshly cut lettuce from her friend's vegetable patch.

I thanked her in French and for a few moments we just stood observing each other and smiling.

Methinks maybe the universal language is the simple gift of a smile :-)

Walk this way!

2009-08-19T08:50:00.001+01:00

Stand at EASE!

I hereby dedicate this sign (along with my white heart closed sign) as the most stupid sign I've ever set my eyes upon (so far!).

About turn. Left, Right, Left, Right, Left, Right