You will be pleased to know (or not) that I’ve come to my senses (some would say well overdue) and reached the conclusion that this writing (novel/book/comic?) malarkey is ruddy difficult! I’ve taken off more that I can chew and I’m now suffering from a bad bout of heartburn.
In my stupidly I thought it would be easy to pen a "novel"" that was both serious and sophisticated (just like me!) with a moralistic edge to it ;-) BUT as soon as my back was turned and I took my eye off the ball, what happens? Let me tell you! My words turned into a melting pot of utter dribble – with not an ounce of style in sight. Correction. The novel did actually have style. The trouble is it has a bloody unique style all of its own! Only to be truly appreciated by those who have a strong liking for Mills & Boon crossed with Spike Milligan on speed, a dab of Enid Blyton, far too much Tom Sharpe and wooden characters that are straight out of a fairy story. What the Dickens?
It’s a culinary delight, like a dish of wobbling pink blancmange covered in onion gravy, with a plate of jellied eels as your side order. All neatly swallowed down with a milkshake made from milk that is well passed its sell by date. Bloody lovely! Tempted? Nah! Thought not.
I cannot believe that I’ve written 6000+ words of utter dribble (holds shaking head in hands). with seven characters! I wonder if I introduced too many characters too soon? It did have NINE! But I killed two off and it’s not even a blinkin' crime novel! The seven complex characters were all jostling to take centre stage and have top billing. (Pipe down will you? Stop shoving. PLEASE! You’re giving me a blinkin’ ‘eadache).
The storylines were knitting together like a confused granny who had lost both her glasses and thread and was getting her big bloomers in a twist. (Knitting was never my strong point! I’m not a granny!).
I now TRULY believe to write a novel you need the following attributes: -
1.first and foremost, lashings and lashings of natural talent.
2. an orderly and structured mind.
3. stick ability.
I have none of the above attributes. For I’ve been attempting to ice the blinkin’ cake and stick the cherry on top before the cake had been taken out of the ruddy oven – a recipe for disaster! I cannot believe that I’ve (wasted my valuable time) written 6000+ words of utter dribble! Actually, there were 15 words that I rather liked, partly used to describe one of the characters (based on me! Holy Moses! ). And I quote:- (WARNING: This is as good as it gets!)
"She begun firing out words reminiscent of an adolescent in charge of a machine gun"
Why oh why didn't she fire out 6000+ perfect words? For fifteen words doesn’t a novel make!
(So in a NUTSHELL! Brace yourselves) My love affair with the written word is over for GOOD (which includes writing this blog - I've been struggling for awhile with composing my words/thoughts. Not sure, but I guess, CRAPPY stuff happening in real life maybe hindering my flow). So, I want to thank you for reading and commenting :-) I'll pop by to your blog from time to time,to annoy you and just to check up that you're behaving yourselves! TRY AND BE GOOD NOW :-) I'm going to just concentrate on taking photos - in the long run, less complicated - just aim and fire. BINGO! :-)
So, free to good home - 6000+ WORDS OF UTTER DRIBBLE! Any takers? Nah! ;-)
.JPG)
